Monday, April 10, 2006

The Real SEDER of Pesach!

I must admit, this is probaby our strangest holiday. I think Succos is a close second though. Waving greenery and lemons in the air and eating in huts outside is pretty interesting and deserves at least a close second.

Now that our house is 100 percent “turned over” for Pesach I can honestly say, it’s a strange one. Tinfoil everywhere, everything covered, closing up cabinets, packing up microwaves, self cleaning ovens, shlepping entire sets of dishes, pots and pans to unpack, and then pack up again a week later.

Admit it, it’s odd. We all know it.

No one is looking at you. You can say it, we’re funny people.

The amounts of money we spend on these holidays is also out of this world. Just like Succos we spend a lot of money on holiday items. Shmurah Matzah is very expensive. But because Pesach is so food oriented, especially when it's a 3-Day Chag, we spend tons of money on food.

We are starting off the Chag this year with 6 meals.

The three day Yom Tov is especially tough, this year everyone’s days will pretty much go like this

Prepare for Seder
Go to Shul
Conduct the Seder
Eat Dinner
Finish the Seder
Go to sleep
Wake up
Go to Shul
Talk about whose Seder ended latest.
Eat Lunch
Prepare for Seder
Go to Shul
Talk about whose Seder ended latest.
Conduct the Seder
Eat Dinner
Finish Seder
Go to sleep
Wake up
Go to Shul
Talk in shul about how we keep eating, sleeping, davening, etc ….
Eat Lunch
Go to Shul
Make Kiddush
Eat Dinner(“leftovers”)
Go to sleep
Wake up
Go to Shul
Talk about how LONG this Yom Tov has been so far.
Make Kiddush
Eat Lunch (more “leftovers”)
Go to Shul
Make Havdallah

Wow, that was exhausting even writing it. So yes, we’re strange, and yes we do funny things, and yes, we spend lots of money on unleavened flat bread. You know what? The best part of Pesach every year is that we get to spend it with our families. We may want to hurt a couple of them by the end of this 3-Day Chag, but we’re together none the less.

So while we will all be kvetching a lot, which is our Judeao (sp?) genetic right, let’s all also remember the amazing miracles that Hashem performed for us, and of course be thankful that we are able to be together with our loved ones to celebrate this festival of the spring.



(Cross Posted at Life-of-Rubin)

2 comments:

Sharona said...

chag sameach

Rick said...

Thought you might get a chuckle out of this e-mail received recently.





The Two-Minute Haggadah

A Passover service for the impatient.

Opening prayers:

Thanks, G-d, for creating wine. (Drink wine.)

Thanks for creating produce. (Eat parsley.)

Overview: Once we were slaves in Egypt. Now we're free. That's why we're doing this.

Four questions:
1. What's up with the matzoh?
2. What's the deal with horseradish?
3. What's with the dipping of the herbs?
4. What's this whole slouching at the table business?

Answers:
1. When we left Egypt, we were in a hurry. There was no time for making decent bread.
2. Life was bitter, like horseradish.
3. It's called symbolism.
4. Free people get to slouch.

A funny story: Once, these five rabbis talked all night, then it was morning. (Heat soup now.)

The four kinds of children and how to deal with them:
Wise child¬ explain Passover.
Simple child¬ explain Passover slowly.
Silent child¬ explain Passover loudly.
Wicked child¬ browbeat in front of the relatives.

Speaking of children: We hid some matzoh. Whoever finds it gets five bucks.

The story of Passover: It's a long time ago. We're slaves in Egypt. Pharaoh is a nightmare. We cry out for help. G-d brings plagues upon the Egyptians. We escape, bake some matzoh. G-d parts the Red Sea. We make it through; the Egyptians aren't so lucky. We wander 40 years in the desert, eat manna, get the Torah, wind up in Israel, get a new temple, enjoy several years without being persecuted again. (Let brisket cool now.)


The 10 Plagues: Blood, Frogs, Lice… ¬you name it.

The singing of "Dayenu":
If G-d had gotten us out of Egypt and not punished our enemies, it would've been enough. If he'd punished our enemies and not parted the Red Sea, it would've been enough.

If he'd parted the Red Sea¬( Remove gefilte fish from refrigerator now.)

Eat matzoh. Drink more wine. Slouch.

Thanks again, G-d, for everything.

SERVE MEAL.