The Jewish Connection

Gimme a P...U...R...I...M

2010-02-26T09:19:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow night starts Purim. We are told to listen to the Megillah, eat, drink and be merry. And we must give charity to the poor and exchange Mishloach Manot with others.

In short: get your freak on...as well as your costume!

The Intifada Comes To Campus

2010-02-25T11:46:00.001-08:00

Glimpses into the Holy Land

2009-08-17T19:27:00.000-07:00

I just returned with my family from a two-week trip to Israel.

I haven't been to Israel in years...25 to be exact! So much has changed, so much has remained the same.

The physical landscape has changed, with new buildings and development throughout the country.

But the heart of Israel -- the Jewish nation -- remains. Every visible stripe of Jew can be found throughout. Every type of kippah and head covering adorn the heads of men and women. Tzitzit fringes flutter freely on men and boys of every size.

Jerusalem. The city of gold...and pink...and white...and blue. Magnificent, beautiful, striking and enveloping. Coddling us, as we coddle it.

People tell me that when they travel UP to Jerusalem, they are encaptured by an overwhelming rush of emotion, a pure happiness meant to sustain. I understand that myself now. A deflation of sorts happens as you drive down, out of Jerusalem, its scenery reflected in the rearview mirror.

To attend a wedding, with the backdrop of Jerusalem as the tableau, the bride and groom under the open-aired chupah, the glass being broken followed by a beautiful cantorial rendition of "Im Eshkachech Yerushalayim (If I Forget Thee, O Jerusalem)" takes one's breath away. As does the country. As do the sunsets. As do the Welcome signs.

Israel...IS Real.

This Blog Isn't Quite Dead

2009-08-13T15:04:00.001-07:00

This blog isn't quite dead yet, but it is on life support. We are still trying to figure out what to do about it. In the interim feel free to check out out old posts and the bloggers that wrote them.

Thanks,

Jack

Haveil Havalim #226

2009-07-19T01:00:00.001-07:00

It is Haveil Havalim time. Come check out edition number 226.

Haveil Havalim #211 is live

2009-04-04T22:12:00.001-07:00

I am pleased to let you know that Haveil Havalim #211: The Preparing for Pesach Edition is up at Ima on (and off) the bima.

Haveil Havalim is the weekly blog carnival of the Jewish/Israeli blogosphere. It serves as an excellent resource that you can use to find out what has been happening within the J-blogosphere during the past week.

A list of past and future hosts can be found here.

Haveil Havalim #196

2008-12-14T08:23:00.000-08:00

This blog isn't quite dead yet. Click here to go read the latest edition of Haveil Havalim.

A Quick list of Haveil Havalim Posts

2008-11-26T07:52:00.000-08:00

Oct 18, 2008	Ill call Baila
Oct 12, 2008	The Israel Situation
Oct 05, 2008	Writes Like She Talks
Sep 28, 2008	A Barbaric Yawp
Sep 21, 2008	Random thoughts
Sep 14, 2008	Shiloh Musings
Sep 07, 2008	Tzipiyah.com
Aug 30, 2008	My Shrapnel
Aug 24, 2008	Yehuda Berlinger
Aug 17, 2008	Rechovot: A Place to Expand
Aug 09, 2008	SimplyJews
Aug 02, 2008	Little Frumhouse on the Prairie
Jul 27, 2008	Frume Sarah's World
Jul 20, 2008	Esser Agaroth
Jul 05, 2008	Daled Amos
Jun 29, 2008	Ima on (and off) the Bimah
Jun 22, 2008	Soccer Dad
Jun 15, 2008	Writes Like She Talks
Jun 08, 2008	Random thoughts

The "Take 1 On" Mitzvah Campaign.

2008-07-03T07:58:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a new campaign in honor of the Rebbe's Yartzeit, which falls out on Sunday July 6th this year. I'm hoping everyone in the Jewish Blogosphere will join in and post and pass this around.

You don't have to take this on in honor of the Rebbe's Yartzeit, if you want to take this on for any other reason feel free to do so. Summer is here and the 3 weeks are almost upon us. This is a time when tragedy seem to always be on the rise. Just take yesterdays Terror attack in Eretz Yisroel.

Often we feel as though there is little we can do, I say here is a chance for us all to do something. It doesn't matter why you decide to do it, just do it.

The campaign is to encourage everyone to take on one Mitzvah. Even if it's a Mitzvah you already do, maybe this can be an opportunity to spend a little more time thinking about it when you do it.

When I was about 20 years old I was going through a hard time spiritually. At the time I was around a lot of Baal Teshuvahs and it was through their excitement for the seemingly more basic concepts in Judaism, that I was able to find more own inspiration. At that time I decided to take on a Mitzvah that I'd make sure I do with Kavana and do it right. That Mitzvah was Mezuzah. Something I'm sure many of forget about it or just do in rote. We end up doing everything, but without the proper Kavanah.

This is a chance to take upon one thing and give it the attention it deserves.

It's my hope that everyone will leave a comment below listing their name (It doesn't have to be a real name) and which Mitzvah they choose.I encourage all Bloggers to post this on their own blogs and ask for the same thing. I'd love to have a really long list and we can all look at and be proud that we were able to use this blogging medium for something positive and inspirational.

Here is just a list of possible things, in case someone is looking for ideas.

Mezuzah
Make Brachas more Clearly
Give Tzedakah before Candle Lighting
Start Attending a local Shiur
Learn more with your Children
Pirush Hamilos (definition of words in Davening)
Krias Shma Al Hamita (Shema b/f bedtime)
Asher Yatzar (Blessing after using restroom)
Shmiras Halashon
Tznius

If you don't want to leave a comment please feel free to email me so I can add your name and the Mitzvah to the list. Lifeofrubin@gmail.com is my e-mail address.

Thank you everyone and I hope through this we can bring some much needed light into the world.

Cross Posted at The Life of Rubin Blog.

Haveil Havalim #168- The Celtics Must Lose Edition!

2008-06-08T01:38:00.000-07:00

Haveil Havalim #168- The Celtics Must Lose Edition!

Haveil Havalim- Purim Is Over Edition

2008-03-22T23:21:00.001-07:00

Haveil Havalim- Purim Is Over Edition

Haveil Havalim- The Almost Purim Edition is live

2008-03-15T21:32:00.001-07:00

Haveil Havalim- The Almost Purim Edition is live. Come check it out here!

Haveil Havalim Is Coming

2008-03-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

This is just your friendly reminder that I (Jack) am hosting the next edition of Haveil Havalim at my blog.

Submit your blog article to the next edition of Haveil Havalim using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Haveil Havalim #157

2008-03-08T14:58:00.000-08:00

Haveil Havalim #157 is ready for your consumption and consideration.

Submit your blog article to the next edition of Haveil Havalim using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Haveil Havalim #156

2008-03-02T11:22:00.000-08:00

It is ready, it is here: Haveil Havalim #156.

HH #155- The Falling Asleep At My Computer Edition

2008-02-23T23:46:00.000-08:00

HH #155- The Falling Asleep At My Computer Edition is now live. Click on down the road and check it out.

Haveil Havalim: Edition 153

2008-02-09T23:58:00.000-08:00

Haveil Havalim: Edition 153 is live at Baila's place.

Painting a Life

2008-01-31T20:22:00.000-08:00

Sometime in the middle of eighth grade, I switched allegiance from Bnei Akiva to Ezra. I don't remember why, but I must have had some compelling reason, because Bnei Akiva met right up the block, on Pisgah Street in Bayit V'gan, and Ezra met miles and miles away, somewhere in Rechavia.

So on Shabbat afternoon, I walked up the stone stairway with my friend Esther and waved to Shifra. Shifra lived not in a stone building like ours but in a small wooden house. The house was full of red-headed children, one of them a tall girl who ran breathlessly to meet us.

Now we were walking across a field dotted with wild red poppies. It was hot afternoon, the springtime sun beating down on us. We wore long sleeved cotton blouses and long blue skirts. We also wore pantyhose, covering our legs. But as we climbed up a rocky ledge, Esther suddenly turned around. "Hide me," she said. She ducked down and when she stood back up, the stockings were in her hand instead of on her legs. She unceremoniously dumped them in a trash can by a bus stop.

"That feels much better," she said. Shifra and I stared at her bare legs. My legs were itchy from the hose. I should have just worn knee socks, but on Shabbat I always wore hose. I didn't take them off. We were almost there anyway, I reasoned. Shifra was mad at Esther and scolded her in rapid Hebrew that neither of us understood. Americayit, said Shifra. And not in a good way.

I liked Ezra. I liked the songs. I liked the little building where we met. The girls in one room, the boys in another. Later, we were together for Havdalah and then a campfire. Pulling potatoes from the campfire and drinking black coffee. Strange and wonderful to me. Then walking through the streets of Jerusalem, singing our songs. Sometimes we walked to the Kotel for Ma'ariv. I don't remember everything: it was thirty years ago and sometimes seems like a dream.

Sometimes, when I was young, when I was with someone I cared for, I tried to explain what I wanted life to be. How I thought it should have colors like a painting and different textures. How certain moments glow. But I found myself among rationalists. It was a long time before I met a fellow dreamer who knew the importance of a rich and fully realized, deeply felt life.

When I think about being Jewish, I think about all those things. I think also about the past, not my own but that of my parents and grandparents. I think about how each letter in a Torah scroll must be perfect, the lessons of scribes handed down through generations. I remember a Lower East side store where beautiful cloth in every color and pattern filled shelves and covered tables. These were scarves for covering a woman's hair. In another store, in another country, at the corner of Ben Yehuda street and King George, was a store where we bought our thread to crochet kippot. All the colors were there too. And we used the same thread to decorate the blouses we wore in a parade in Jerusalem.

None of these are reasons to be Jewish, but they are the things that transport me. Like walking to the Kotel at sunset, like the sounds of the songs in the old shul, which were nothing near harmonious, but the voices were both old and young and always real.

Haveil Havalim #151- The P.S.D. Edition

2008-01-26T21:37:00.001-08:00

Come on by and review Haveil Havalim #151- The P.S.D. Edition. Try it, you'll like it.

Oy Veh!

2008-01-21T07:08:00.000-08:00

It's been so long since we've written here... But I got an email that let me know people are still reading the older, archived posts. Maybe we should rejuvenate this blog? ("Rejewvenate"?)

Just to kick-start it a little: Here an interesting tid-bit I learned this morning. I was looking up information on Jews from Galitzia (Galitzianers) and in Wikipedia read this:

In 1773, Galicia had about 2.6 million inhabitants in 280 cities and market towns and approx. 5 500 villages...
No country of the Austrian monarchy had such a varied ethnic mix as Galicia: Poles, Ukrainians, Jews, Germans, Armenians, Czechs, Slovaks, Hungarians, Roma, etc.

The Jews of Galicia had immigrated in the Middle Ages from Germany...

Poles were Roman Catholic, the Ruthenians (or Rusyn, now mostly calling themselves Ukrainians) belonged to Byzantine-Slavonic Greek Catholic Church. The Jews represented the third largest religious group, who kept mostly strictly their rabbinical faith.

The average life expectancy was 27 years for men and 28.5 years for women....

So, several interesting things here:

1. The Jews were the third largest religious group in the region,
2. The Jews living in Galitzia were mostly religious Jews observing rabbinical Judaism,
3. Life must have been terribly hard, with an average life span of 27-28 years.

Is it significant that the Orthodox Jewish way of life may have taken form at a time when people had a drastically shorter lifespan? If you had only 28 years to live, certainly that would affect your approach to religion, to marriage and family, to education.

That average life span noted in Wikipedia is the average for all people of the region. Did Jews live longer due to better health habits (eating Kosher, washing hands, etc.)? I wonder. There must be some records that still exist. It would be an interesting area for research.

While poking around on the Internet, I found this moving and disturbing, detailed book on Jewish life in Korczyna, Poland. Sigh. These stories all end the same way, and that's the sad thing. But at least we are here today to look back.

************

P.S. I notice that comments are not working on this blog. I will contact Chaim about that.

P.S.S. With Chaim's approval, I updated this blog to Blogger II. Changed the template but kept the beautiful header. Comments are working now. It's a new year!

Haveil Havalim- A New Sheriff In Town

2008-01-16T16:39:00.000-08:00

That is right folks, there is a new sheriff in town and his name is Jack. In the coming weeks I am going to take over the administrative responsiblities for Haveil Havalim.

I strongly urge anyone who reads this blog to participate in it. If you have any questions hop over to my blog and I'll fill you in on the details.

This Blog is Still Ticking

2008-01-01T20:43:00.001-08:00

New posts are on the way.

Who is A Jew?

2007-09-11T10:55:00.001-07:00

Click here.

Haveil Havalim- The Once & Future Edition is live.

2007-08-12T06:17:00.000-07:00

Haveil Havalim- The Once & Future Edition is live.

Hello G-d? It's Me, Chaim.

2007-07-31T09:02:00.000-07:00

Wow, this place has cobwebs all over it. This blog needs a digital dusting! I haven't written a post here in ages. My bad. This in concept is one of my favorite blog ideas. But it's just faded. I big thanks goes to Jack for coming in, making sure the lights still work every once in a while.

Anyway, I was just checking my old e-mail and saw that someone asked me to feature their blog on this website. So I said what the hey, nothing else is happening. I checked out the blog, it was very cool.

Check out Hassidic Rambler. Extra points for being a song title from one of my favorite CD's, 8th Day.

... and who knows, maybe I'll find some inspiration to write something worth while on this blog.

If ANYONE ELSE wants to write something for the blog e-mail me!

Haveil Havalim #125

2007-07-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

Click Here.

Haveil Havalim #123

2007-06-30T23:39:00.001-07:00

Rafi is calling the action.

Haveil Havalim #117 Is Live

2007-05-20T09:36:00.000-07:00

You can find it here.

Why The Baal Teshuva World Irritates Me

2007-01-12T00:10:00.000-08:00

I am not FFB, but I have a number of friends who are. I am not BT and not real likely to go that route. I have watched many friends go down that path and haven't had the most pleasant reaction to what I have seen.

The internal struggle that many of them has gone through has created so many tumultuous situations. Time after time I have witnessed terrible fighting with their relatives and the complete severance of decade long friendships.

I understand and appreciate that they have found a spiritual calling. I can respect that. I don't have any problem with people choosing to find the derech. But I cannot condone the bridge burning that many of their supporters encourage them to do.

When the only way that you can find security in your new place is to rid yourself of all of your old world ties there is a problem. It comes off as being cultlike and I think that it is sad.

Not all of my friends growth resembled Sherman's march through Atlanta. Some of them found a path that allowed them to do what they had to do without badmouthing their friends and relatives. Some of them were secure enough to accept that not everyone was going to be like them.

And some understood that you attract more flies with honey. They recognized that patronizing comments were unwarranted and that building bridges made more sense.

I suppose that part of what bothers me about this stems from their refusal to accept that there are those of us who have chosen to maintain our level of observance. Just as they feel like they have come to a place of spiritual growth so have we.

I recall one friend who grew up in a completely secular home trying to teach me how I could be more observant and become a better Jew. The former three day a year Jew thinking that 18 months of learning meant that he knew more than 25 years of practicing Judaism.

Why? Because the people he was surrounded by taught him that any Judaism that was different from their own wasn't real. Quite shameful and quite sad. A real chillul Hashem.

I don't want to belabor the point. I don't have a problem with BTs in general and applaud their decision. All I expect is that they open their eyes and look around. In spite of what some say, it is a big world and there is no one singular path to Hashem.

Just as they say they'll daven for me, I daven for them.

(Originally posted here)

Asking for Forgiveness After Yom Kippur

2006-10-04T18:21:00.000-07:00

I don't like being forced into things spiritually. I don't know if other people can relate to what I'm saying. If you do then please tell me, I'd love to know someone else feels like I do. It's possible that it's all part of a larger issue I have, which is not liking to be told what to do. Problem with authority I think they call it. It's not that I'm a disrespectful person. I have tremendous respect for people, but usually only people who have earned that respect.

When I was in high school I didn't automatically respect my teacher or principal. I needed to see that they were worthy of respect. I needed to see that they were good people and fair people. I needed to see that I would be getting something in return for that respect.

When it comes to my frumkeit I believe I have trouble moving away from that philosophy. Hashem should get my respect no matter what. He doesn't have to earn it, and even if he did, by all means, he created me and gave me so much, that in it itself should deserve respect.

But no matter how hard I try when it comes to certain things I still don't like to be forced into it. I don't like to do something just because we are told to, or because everyone else is doing it. When Erev Yom Kippur came around people were coming over to me with the same typical lines I hear every year. "I hope you will forgive me if I didn't anything wrong to you or offended or upset you in any way" Ya ya, wonderful, where is that will to make up 6 months from now.

Do these robotic trading of words actually mean anything? Aren't we saying them just because "it's that time of the year" and how insincere is that. I know most people mean it, and I know that even though it is "that" time of the year still people take it as a jump start to make amends with people they have wronged. But for me its just so hard to penetrate me.

I find it so hard to take these things seriously. Then Yom Kippur comes and goes and just like that we move from two incredibly holy and meaningful days to 8 days where the big tradition is eating in an outdoor hut and shaking palm branches and lemons.

It's like we turn off the switch so fast between Yom Kippur and Succos.

So here we are, and here I am. Still fighting the internal struggle of forcing myself to atone for my sins and make amends with those who I haven't got along with even though Yom Kippur is over and in a few days I'll be shaking a palm branch.

Do other people think about the spiritual efforts we underwent a few days ago today? How do we carry our determination to change into a holiday that seems to be so different yet so close in time.

Maybe the lesson to learn here is that Hashem is teaching us that we can't hold on to things. We have to teach ourselves to move on. Yom Kippur is as good a time as any to push ourselves to make up for our wrongs. Not because "were told we have to" but because why not, it doesn't hurt to have a designated time to let go of any grudged or disagreements.

Look at Hashem, he goes from a serious time when he judges all of his creations to a few days later when he wants us to just dance and be happy for what we have. Simchas Torah is so close to Yom Kippur but it couldn't be any different in terms of it's seriousness.

So I once again ask that if I upset or wronged anyone, I hope you will forgive me. Not because you have to, in fact Yom Kippur is over so you have 11 months and change not to forgive me. But because I don't want to hold on to anything.

Another Yom Kippur

2006-10-01T10:54:00.000-07:00

So here we are on the verge of yet another Yom Kippur. I don't mean that to sound negative, it is just hard to believe that yet another year has come and gone. Time moves at an unreal pace. Sometimes it feels like the good is a blink and the bad is eternal and then again it feels like the exact opposite.

Today I will spend large chunks of time preparing myself mentally for the day to come. It is both sad and somber, happy and joyful. It is a time in which I feel crazed and calm. My heart aches and my soul is singing.

The contradictions of life and death lie before me and I do what I can to reconcile it all. I'll not make this a long post. Let's pray that this is the year in which no children go hungry and we find cures for the diseases that rob us of our loved ones.

Let's pray that for an end to the bloodshed and the promotion of hate and look for a better world.

And should none of that come on a global scale I'll ask that Ha-Kodesh Baruch Hu give these blessings to some, if not all.

G'mar Chatima Tova.

Revealing & Concealing Jewish Identity

2006-09-07T06:06:00.000-07:00

Question & Answer With Neil Harris Of Modern Uberdox - Like Our Enemies

The Incredible Power of Tehillim: Parts 1 & 2

2006-07-30T05:18:00.000-07:00

I hope to have more in this series coming later this week. For now I wanted to repost them here as they probably belong here in the first place.

One of the things that we can do to help the situation in Israel is to say Tehillim. Despite what you may have read today elsewhere, there should be no doubt as to the incredible powers that our Tehillim posess. Over the next couple days I will post stories about Tehillim and selected chapters from Tehillim that pertain to the current situation in Eretz Yisroel.

If you know of a power of Tehillim story and would like me to post it, please e-mail me at lifeofrubin@gmail.com

The 3^rd Lubavitcher Rebbe, known as the Tzemach Tzedek said in the name of Rabbi Yehuda "Whatever Dovid Hamelech say’s in his book pertains to himself, to all of Israel and to all times.”

“If one would only know the power of verses in Tehillim, and their effect on high, one would recite them continually. The verse of Tehillim transcend all barriers and ascend higher and higher, imploring the Master of the Universe, until they achieve results of kindness and mercy.” (Hayom Yom)

In the times of the Beis Hamikdash (Holy Temple) Tehillim had a formal, designated purpose, as they were sung by the Levi’im to the music of the lyre while the Kohanim offered up sacrifices. After the destruction of the second temple, many of the Psalm were incorporated into standardized liturgies to be recited as part of formal prayers. (Taken from the introduction to Ohel Yosef Yitzchok)

The first Kapitol (Chapter) I want to present to you is a beautiful and timely piece composed by Dovid Hamelech after triumphing in all his wars. He composed this to praise Hashem for his victories. Read through the English and take from it what you will. Here is the same Kapitol in Hebrew if you wish to say it along.

"Chapter 144

1. By David. Blessed be the Lord, my Rock, Who trains my hands for battle and my fingers for war. 2. My source of kindness and my fortress, my high tower and my rescuer, my shield, in Whom I take refuge; it is He Who makes my people submit to me. 3. O Lord, what is man that You have recognized him; the son of a mortal, that You are mindful of him? 4. Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow. 5. O Lord, incline Your heavens and descend; touch the mountains and they will become vapor. 6. Flash one bolt of lightning and You will scatter them; send out Your arrows and You will confound them. 7. Stretch forth Your hands from on high, rescue me and deliver me out of many waters, from the hand of strangers, 8. whose mouth speaks deceit and whose right hand is a right hand of falsehood. 9. God, I will sing a new song to You, I will play to You upon a harp of ten strings. 10. He who gives victory to kings, He will rescue David, His servant, from the evil sword. 11. Rescue me and deliver me from the hand of strangers, whose mouth speaks deceit and whose right hand is a right hand of falsehood. 12. For our sons are like plants, brought up to manliness in their youth; our daughters are like cornerstones, fashioned after the fashion of a palace. 13. Our storehouses are full, overflowing with all manner of food; our sheep increase by the thousands, growing by the tens of thousands in our open fields. 14. Our leaders bear the heaviest burden; there is none who break through, nor is there bad report, nor outcry in our streets. 15. Happy is the nation for whom this is so. Happy is that nation whose God is the Lord."

(PART 2)

First of all, I just wanted to mention that Artscroll is offering those specific chapters of Tehillim that Rabbanim around the world have asked that we say for Israel. You can download them all here. Scroll down and either click the thumbnail to see a larger image or download the PDF's here, here, here, here and here.

Yesterday I posted Kapitol 142, which was composed after Dovid Hamelech came out victorious from his wars. Today I am posting Kapitol 83. This is one of the chapters that Rabbonim have recommended us reading. Via Chabad.org, they have made available Rashi's commentary on Tehillim. Click here for the Hebrew if you wish to say it along.

It's also incredibly interesting to note that this week in Ireland an archaeological dig team found a Tehillim which they have dated to be at least 800 years old. It was opened up to this page, Chapter 83. Still don't believe in the power of Tehillim?

CHAPTER 83
A prayer regarding the wars against Israel in the days of Jehoshaphat, when the nations plotted against Israel.

1. A psalm, a song of Asaph.

2. O God, have no silence, do not be silent and do not be still, O God.
Rashi: have no silence Do not give silence to our wrongs, with which our enemies harm us.

3. For behold, Your enemies stir, and those who hate You raise their heads.

4. Against Your people they plot cunningly, and they take counsel against Your protected ones.

5. They said, "Come, let us destroy them from [being] a nation, and the name of Israel will no longer be remembered."

6. For they have taken counsel with one accord; against You they form a pact.
Rashi: against You they form a pact This pact is only against You, to cause Your name to be forgotten, for You are called the God of Israel, and since Israel
will not be remembered, even Your great name is not remembered. I found this.

7. The tents of Edom and the Ishmaelites, Moab and the Hagrites.

8. Gebal, Ammon, and Amalek, Philistia with the inhabitants of Tyre.

9. Also Assyria joined them; they were the arm of the children of Lot forever.
Rashi: Also Assyria Even Assyria, which until that day was careful of other foolish counsels and would not join evildoers, as it says (Gen. 10: 11): “From that
land Asshur went forth,” that he left the counsel of the generation of dispersion [which built the tower], joined them here and assisted them for evil. (In other
commentaries I found this:) Also Assyria joined them, etc. Also this one, who initially loved good deedsfor he separated from Nimrod’s counsel, as it is said:
“From that land Asshur went forth” he too reverted to wickedness. Therefore, he participated in destroying Your temple. Genesis Rabbah 37:4.
Rashi: they were the arm All these gave strength and aid to Moab and Ammon, our neighbors, to come upon us.

10. Do to them as [to] Midian; as [to] Sisera, as [to] Jabin in the brook Kishon.
Rashi: Do to them as [to] Midian through Gideon.as [to] Sisera through Barak.

11. They were destroyed in En-Dor; they were [as] dung on the ground.
Rashi: They were destroyed in En-Dor I do not know which of the wars took place in En-Dor, that of Gideon or that of Barak.dung Heb. דמן, scattered dung, as translated by Jonathan.

12. Make them, their nobles, as Oreb and as Zeeb, and as Zebah and as Zalmuna all their princes.

13. Who said, "Let us inherit for ourselves the dwellings of God."
Rashi: Who said These nations mentioned above: Edom, Ishmael, and all their allies. “Let us inherit for ourselves the dwellings of God” The dwelling of the house of God.

14. My God, make them like thistles, like stubble before the wind.
Rashi: My God, make them like thistles, like stubble which are driven away by the wind. Now what is גלגל ? It is the tips of the thorns of the field, which are
called chardons in French, thistles. When winter arrives, they are plucked out and disintegrate, and little by little they fly [away]. The part that is plucked out
of them resembles the wheels of a wagon, and the wind carries them.

15. As a fire that burns in a forest and as a flame that burns mountains.

16. So will You pursue them with Your tempest, and with Your whirlwind You will terrify them.
Rashi: and with Your whirlwind Tourbillon in French, whirlwind.

17. Fill their faces with shame, and they will seek Your countenance, O Lord.

18. Let them be ashamed and terrified forever; let them be disgraced and perish.

19. Let them know that You-Your name alone is the Lord, Most High over all the earth."

Separating

2006-07-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

I am increasingly finding it difficult to separate myself from the plight of Israel and the decisions and choices of her leaders this summer. I ride to work with NPR blaring away, telling me how sad and tragic the situation is for the Lebanese and you know what? I couldn't give a damn. I really couldn't. Because all I can think about are the people on the busses that blew sky high when a terrorist dressed as a religious Jew boarded the bus and detonated himself. Or the folks sitting at their seder table who suddenly were blown to bits when a woman in a thick coat walked into the hotel where they were celebrating.

I think of all of them and of the thousands more who lived, terrorized, all these years and no one outside of Israel did a thing.

And as I listen to this drivel about how cruel and inhuman the Israelis are and how since 300 and some civilians have been killed on one side, that makes the 200 and some killed on the other side irrelevent because they belonged to the AGGRESSOR...I can't help but be mad.

In my head I think that bombing a people really not directly involved isn't a necessarily a right or just thing...but in my heart, I know that they're just as responsible as the closest Hezbollah member is...because they allow them to live among them, to seek shelter, to use them as a shield.

If everyone can run away and say, "It isn't my fault because I didn't launch the rocket even though I allowed the rocket launcher to sleep in my house," then no one is responsible and everyone is responsible.

Me? I find it hard to separate my identity as a Jew from my feelings about Israel and her right to a peaceful existence. I feel like because I AM a Jew, I am in for a penny and in for a pound regardless of the outcome.

I don't want to watch the news...not that I don't want to know what's going on, but because I cannot stand the slanted, pro-Palestinian western media. "Look at the big, bad Jews and what they do to the poor little, hut-living Palestinians!" They don't talk about all the concessions that were made for them or how freely they come and go in Israeli society for the most part - no, it is best to show the downtrodden underdog being bullied around by the Jew in the tank who has no heart...no soul.

Well, MY Jewish soul cannot stand that. It rips me apart. So...right or wrong, I am tied to my homeland and to the hope that THIS time...it will finally work.

Making Kiddush in Venice

2006-07-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

The streets are winding, narrow. No cars can navigate through here. It’s hardly a stretch to imagine yourself in the 17th century as you walk through the Jewish Ghetto after sunset. To imagine that the gates have shut, shutting you out from the rest of the city, shutting the rest of the city away from you.

In the lengthening shadows, we stop to look through a window at tables set for Shabbos with white tablecloths. We hesitate there a moment, and a boy bursts out of the door, careens into us. “Have you made Kiddush yet? Come in and make Kiddush!” No, we... oh, well...OK, why not? So we go inside and say the two brachas, for the fruit of the vine and for the sanctity of Shabbat, and drink some wine. The boy, really a teenager, has an Israeli accent. He is with Chabad here in Venice. There is a Jewish community here; it’s not just a museum. “Stay, stay for dinner. Have you had dinner?” No thank you....We’re going back to the hotel.... Maybe tomorrow...,

A few days later, we stand on the deck of a boat, watching the sun, a perfect blazing circle, sink into the sea at the horizon line. It is a bracha-inducing sunset, astounding, beauty that catches your breath and makes you say thank You for this life we take for granted. A life of unexpected intersections, light and dark, the familiar amidst the unknown, ancient and new, Kiddush in a foreign land.

Feeling Helpless To Tragedy in the Summer Months

2006-06-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

Every year around this time we see a spike in tragedies. Less superstitious people would claim that that we have these tragedies all year round. We only notice them because we’re trained to think that during the months of Tammuz and Av we suffer more. I’ve never believed that, I truly do believe that we go through so many more tragedies during the summer. Of course we have tragedies all year round, but during these months, they are sadly that much more frequent.

Just in the last week, off hand, just in NY I can think of three young kids who passed away. Even typing those words makes me pause. Three, in just the last week. A young boy, only 17 years old, a 5 year old girl and an 11 year old girl.

Then we have the horrible murder of another very young man in

Israel

, the capture and holding hostage of another 18 year old boy, a soldier yes, but still a boy. The summer months bring pain and suffering, there is no doubt in my mind about that.

I recall being taught at some point growing up that the world is Kabalisticly different during these summer months. If you would draw a line and at one end you could put Adar, a time of good Mazel and joy. M’shenichnas Adar, Marbim Bsimcha. At the other end of the line would be Av. Tisha B’Av precisely. The low point of the year, spiritually speaking. M’shenichnas Av, Mimatim Bsimcha (we lessen in the Simcha.)

Knowing all of this, I've come to feel helpless. Is there anything we can do to prevent any of these tragedies? Don’t we have free will? How is that it’s just predetermined that every year at this time, horrible tragedies will happen. Is there nothing we can do to change this?

We learn in Tanya that it is ok to feel depression or to be sad. It’s just not ok to linger there. Sadness can lead to two paths. If you linger in sadness it can weaken your resolve to move past it and it will become easier to not want to do good. On the other hand, if you learn from the sadness and use it as a strength to change the world, that is obviously good.

I think that is ultimately what we are supposed to be learning from these tragic events, which occur every year during these times. It’s a fissure in space and time. Hashem had pre-installed this low point in our year, in which at these times we must wake ourselves up and learn from the tragic events that occur. We have to remind ourselves that we are in exile and that we were all put on this earth to make this world a better place.

It’s our job to change the world.

Somehow, through these events, we are supposed to gather ourselves, and resolve to be strong. Resolve to do good things, and be good to our fellow man.

Through these actions, we change the world, and bring ourselves that much close to Moshiach. A time in which we will no longer know these types of pains. A time when we will no longer feel tears on our faces.

These summer months, in which we all see so much pain and suffering will go by in vain, if we don’t pick ourselves up and resolve to change the world.

Please, especially during these summer months, when we see so much sorrow. We need to do extra good. Especially in the area of V'ohavta Leraieche Komacho. Love your fellow man like yourself. We need to be more respectful of everyone. We should all resolve that to combat these tragic events, we will be kinder, gentler, more understanding and more loving.

Shh!!!

2006-06-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

This post is culled from an email I sent to the prestigious and well-dressed PT:

One of my biggest pet peeves is talking in shul. I'm not saying I never do it, but it annoys me nonetheless, on general principle. So when people do it at especially obnoxious times, like when they are finished with shmonei esrei but not everyone else is (and the repetition has not started), it really, really bugs me. These people are trying to daven! You are distracting them! And the people I sit near talk a whole lot. But I don't do anything about it. I have been known to shush at times, but I don't want to be a "shusher." And I've never moved to another seat because I don't want to insult anyone (in general these are really nice guys) and besides, I really like my seat. It's a good seat. So I just kind of stew. After all, these guys should know better!

Anyway, one shabbat a couple of weeks ago, the talking was especially galling. I don't recall why exactly. But after davening is done, after adom olam and the whole bit, the rabbi goes onto the middle bima to make kiddush as usual. But it is just too noisy. He's waiting. And waiting. Everybody is talking, doing their own thing, barely even looking at the rabbi. That was it. I got up on the bima and slammed the shulchan a few times. That's usually all it takes, but I was really angry and found myself screaming, "Kiddush!" The noise settled down to a dull roar, and the rabbi thanked me and made kiddush.

At kiddush everyone asked my wife what was wrong with me, am I going crazy, etc. Someone came up to me and nicely asked if I had yelled, "Shut up!" Apparently someone thought I'd said that and this woman, who knows me (sort of), said I would never do that. She's right, but just barely.

If I had said something nicely to the talkers earlier, would I have cooled down and ultimately saved myself some embarassment? Possibly. But I'm getting worked up now just writing aobut it. Will I say something the next time? Probably not. Because I'm a ninny. A self-righteous ninny. A self-righteous, fishing-for-compliments ninny.

Cross-posted at Kerckhoff Coffeehouse.

Keeping Shabbos In Hollywood: My Name is David Sacks and I am a sitcom writer

2006-06-10T19:06:00.000-07:00

I read this article recently in the Algemeiner Journal english section. I insitinantly thought of this blog. This is a wonderful story of faith and love for what you beleive in. I really hate that I've ignored this blog, but there are only 24 hours in a day and a guys gotta sleep at some point.

So if I can't write a long meanigful post, the least I could do is show you someone who can. If you don't have the time to read this story, I strongly suggest you keep it in your favotires of print it out here. Read it later if you must, but it's a really wonderful story.

"Shortly after I first started keeping Shabbos, I got my first job as a staff writer on a sit-com. It was the ninety-ninth rated show out of ninety-nine in prime time. Not that this has anything to do with the story, I’ve just always thought that was cool.

There wasn’t much to do the first week, and it was August when the sun sets relatively late, so we finished work before there was any conflict. The second week was different. Friday rolled around and we were finishing just in time for me to be able to make it home for candle lighting. I lived close to the studio, so as long as we wrapped it up quickly, I’d make it home by the skin of my teeth.
It was one of those meetings that wanted desperately to end. However, each time it was about to, someone invariably raised another point. And then another. I was sitting in front of a large picture window watching the sun get lower and lower in the sky. It finally came to the point that if I didn’t leave right away I wasn’t going to make it.

I didn’t know what to say or do. Having had no previous experience keeping Shabbos in the work place, I hadn’t thought of raising it with my Executive Producers earlier. This much I knew, several minutes before sundown was not the time to launch into a discourse about my religious beliefs. In other words, I was stuck. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I got up, and without any ceremony, I left. They must have thought I was going to the bathroom. But I never came back. Running to the car, I remember thinking that for a day of rest, this was causing a lot of anxiety. I had to talk to my Executive Producers, explain my situation, and hope they’d be supportive.

After the weekend, I went in with my partner, and asked if I could leave a few hours early Friday night so that I could keep the Sabbath. They said, “No”. Then they asked if I still wanted to do this, because if I did, they were going to replace me. In other words, work on Shabbos, or you’re fired.

When I got home, I called my agent. He asked me what I wanted to do. I told him that I wasn’t going to work on Shabbos. He told me that if that was the case then I wasn’t going to work in television again.

This was an amazing moment. Hollywood moguls are famous for saying, “You’ll never work in this town again!” – but I thought that only happened in old movies. Now, here I was, and not only was someone actually saying it -- they were saying it to me!

The next day I told my partner I wasn’t going to work. He understood, but he told me that he was going to try and stay on the show without me. I didn’t blame him. After all, he wasn’t even Jewish. Not only that, but people try for years to break into sitcom. This was a big break for him too, and he had every right to see what it might lead to.

In many respects this was the most critical moment of my life. I had been extraordinarily blessed. I had achieved my goal of going to Harvard College, writing for the Lampoon, and breaking into Hollywood. But despite all this, something was missing.

Relating to this, I heard a teaching that for years I thought came from a great nineteenth century Hassidic Master. Later I learned it was from a tattooed biker in recovery. Not only doesn’t that take anything away from the insight, I think it makes it even more relatable.

He said, “all of us are created with a G-d shaped hole inside of us”. We try to fill it with career achievements, drugs, relationships, money, but none of these things fill it except G-d, precisely because it’s a G-d shaped hole.

Modern society cynically views religion as a crutch, but nothing could be further from the truth. The quest for spirituality is an expression of a longing built into us by G-d Himself. For some us that inner voice becomes loudest during tragic times. For others, me included, it becomes clearest during times of plenty. It says, all these opportunities are great – but there has to be something more to life!

I no longer had confidence that blindly climbing the ladder of success was going to lead me to better and better places. I needed to know where “success” was taking me, and perhaps even more importantly, where it was stopping me from going. I realized then that if I couldn’t take my soul along on the journey, then no matter how far I got, it was ultimately a dead end.

The pressure was definitely building. I was about to lose my job, my partner, and I was told that I wouldn’t work in television again. But somehow, despite this I remained calm. Maybe I wouldn’t work in my chosen field, but in my heart, I knew that nothing bad was going to come from keeping Shabbos.

My agents marched in, and met with the studio head, and the Executive Producers. To my amazement, behind closed doors, all of the parties actually turned out to be respectful and supportive.

Now before I accept a job I always discuss Shabbos. Despite the stereotypes people have of the entertainment industry, I’ve been consistently touched by how positively both Jews and non-Jews alike respond.

Judaism teaches that when you’re in the middle of a hardship you’d give anything to have it go away. But if you get through it successfully, you wouldn’t exchange the experience for anything. G-d gave me a great gift. He could have made the entire process easy for me. But instead, He gave me the opportunity to take a stand for what I believe in. Perhaps for this reason, this remains for me the proudest moment of my life.

Since then, life has never been the same. Come sundown Friday, no matter what’s going on, no matter how busy I am, everything disappears and the only thing that remains is Shabbos. Holy Shabbos."

(via 613.org)

David Sacks Bio:

Born and raised in New York City, David Sacks attended Harvard College, graduating with a degree in Government in 1984. While there he began his comedy writing career as an editor of the school's humor magazine, The Harvard Lampoon. Upon graduating, David moved to Los Angeles and began writing for television.

Among the shows he's worked for are "The Simpsons", where he won an Emmy Award, and "Third Rock from the Sun" for which he won a Golden Globe Award. He is currently a producer on "Malcolm in the Middle". David is the co-founder and Senior Lecturer of The Happy Minyan of Los Angeles. David is married and raises his family in Beverly Hills, CA.

Why Is Judaism Relevant To You?

2006-05-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

The Jewish Atheist has a post that gives good food for thought. It is called:

Intermarriage and Interdating, Part II: or, Jewish Guilt

There were a couple of comments that caught my attention:

"I want to speak to the question of Jewish survival, since this comes up all the time as the key reason not to intermarry. My question is why is Jewish survival so important? I think there's a significant difference that tends to be lost on some between the horribleness of the destruction of the Jewish people through genocide and the gradual waning of a faith because it is no longer as relevant to the lives of some people today as it was to their ancestors."

And

"Esther-

I think you hit on an important point. That Judaism seems no longer relevant now. That is the failure of our religion, that it hasn't sufficiently adapted to the changing needs of our society."

So here are a few questions to consider. Would you be able to respond to these comments? Can you provide an answer based upon logic and reason? Why is Judaism important to you?

The floor is open. I am interested in hearing what you have to say.

(crossposted here)

Learning About Faith From a Television Show

2006-05-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

If you are a fan of the TV show LOST on ABC and haven't yet watched last night (May 10th) episode then you will not want to read this post past the warning further down. This post contains major spoiler information.

You don't have to watch the show to read this post.

On ABC's Lost we have a show about a large group of people who mysteriously end up on an uncharted island. Strange things happen which force the survivors to deal with emotional times in their pasts. Many times these are instances that proved to be trying times in their lives. Through whatever is happening on the Island the survivors are forced to reconcile their troubled pasts and most times they come out for the better. In a few cases when a person has worked out their issues the character had died on the show. Many fans believe that this is analogous to completing your mission on Earth and therefore passing on.

The show has had a spiritual overtone since the beginning. For all of the first season and a half the shows main two leaders were two men. One by the name of John Locke, billed as a Man of Faith. Another man by the name of Jack Shepard. A Man of Science. A doctor who doesn't believe in fate, he only believes in what he can see. He goes on the facts and then makes decisions.

These two men have clashed many times, as would two men coming from such polar ideological opposites. The shows creator a man by the name of J.J. Abrams is Jewish, as is one of the two main producers, Damon Lindeloff. The show's other main producer is a man from a christian background whose name is Carlton Cuse. It's safe to assume that many of the shows creators religious backgrounds have gone into this show.

The concept of faith vs. science is something that permeates throughout all of religion. I want to address it's place in Judaism.

Every day that a Jewish man wakes up he is supposed to pray, put on leather straps with boxes filled with parchment containing verses from the Torah. Every day Jewish men and women eat kosher which does not allow us to eat fish that do not have both fins and scales and animals that do not chew their cud and have split feet. Every Friday night we stop using all forms of electric and we cease working.

Many of these things are based on faith. Being a religious person is something that requires lots faith. Sure there are many laws from the Torah that make sense, but there are just as many if not more that are impossible to really understand. Believing in something simply because we are told to is very hard. To do something simply because "it says so" is something that every Jewish person has to internalize.

On the show there is a hatch, in this hatch is a computer. At the beginning of this season a man left them there and told them that they have to press specific numbers into the computer and press enter every 108 minutes. If they don't do it, it could mean the end of the world. Why was the man doing this? Because when he came to the hatch a man before him told him the same thing. Our main characters John Locke and Jack Shepard argued over whether to press the button. Jack Shepard, the man of science believed this made no sense and was probably part of some experiment. Locke on the other believed there was a higher meaning to all of this and decided to trust the original occupant of the hatch and press the button.

Every 108 minutes Locke made sure that the button was pressed. Why? Because he had faith he was doing the right thing.

This season on Lost a new character was introduced. This was a man by the name of Mr. Eko. Mr. Eko, like John Locke was also a man of faith. Mr. Eko was a priest, well, he became a priest after being a drug l-rd, but that's a different story.

(Spoiler starts here, this is your last chance to stop reading)

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Last night Mr. Eko and John Locke, two men of faith showed us how there are different levels of faith. They discovered the location of a new hatch. In this hatch we learn that this really is all part of an experiment. We're told that the people in the other hatch were "told" that they are doing something of the "utmost" importance. Locke takes this to mean that now that we know the reason for pushing the button, its obvious that there is no true need to push the button. Mr. Eko on the other hand takes this to mean that now there is more reason to push the button then ever.

I found this to be very interesting. For many years Jewish people followed the mitzvahs in the Torah simply because it said so. Later we learned that some things did in fact have logical explanations. Kosher dietary laws helped keep us healthy, psychiatrists will tell you that taking a "break" once a week is great for the mind and also great for strengthening the family bond.

The problem with this is that then we turn into John Locke's. Now that we know the reason for something, our faith is tested. Faith is really believing in something - just because. When we know why we are supposed to do something we can then come up with reasons why they shouldn't be done. Mr Eko believes that even though we think we know the reason why they were supposed to push the button, that doesn't take away from the faith he had in the button and its purpose.

It's a very interesting turn and it really is something that speaks to any religious person.

So why do we push the button? By button I mean remain religious. Are we doing it because we have true faith or because we think we know the reasons. What if we found out that the reason for something didn't make sense.

Would you still do it?

Tell me, why do you push the button?

(Cross-Posted on Life-of-Rubin)

The Real SEDER of Pesach!

2006-04-10T08:25:00.000-07:00

I must admit, this is probaby our strangest holiday. I think Succos is a close second though. Waving greenery and lemons in the air and eating in huts outside is pretty interesting and deserves at least a close second.

Now that our house is 100 percent “turned over” for Pesach I can honestly say, it’s a strange one. Tinfoil everywhere, everything covered, closing up cabinets, packing up microwaves, self cleaning ovens, shlepping entire sets of dishes, pots and pans to unpack, and then pack up again a week later.

Admit it, it’s odd. We all know it.

No one is looking at you. You can say it, we’re funny people.

The amounts of money we spend on these holidays is also out of this world. Just like Succos we spend a lot of money on holiday items. Shmurah Matzah is very expensive. But because Pesach is so food oriented, especially when it's a 3-Day Chag, we spend tons of money on food.

We are starting off the Chag this year with 6 meals.

The three day Yom Tov is especially tough, this year everyone’s days will pretty much go like this

Prepare for Seder
Go to Shul
Conduct the Seder
Eat Dinner
Finish the Seder
Go to sleep
Wake up
Go to Shul
Talk about whose Seder ended latest.
Eat Lunch
Prepare for Seder
Go to Shul
Talk about whose Seder ended latest.
Conduct the Seder
Eat Dinner
Finish Seder
Go to sleep
Wake up
Go to Shul
Talk in shul about how we keep eating, sleeping, davening, etc ….
Eat Lunch
Go to Shul
Make Kiddush
Eat Dinner(“leftovers”)
Go to sleep
Wake up
Go to Shul
Talk about how LONG this Yom Tov has been so far.
Make Kiddush
Eat Lunch (more “leftovers”)
Go to Shul
Make Havdallah

Wow, that was exhausting even writing it. So yes, we’re strange, and yes we do funny things, and yes, we spend lots of money on unleavened flat bread. You know what? The best part of Pesach every year is that we get to spend it with our families. We may want to hurt a couple of them by the end of this 3-Day Chag, but we’re together none the less.

So while we will all be kvetching a lot, which is our Judeao (sp?) genetic right, let’s all also remember the amazing miracles that Hashem performed for us, and of course be thankful that we are able to be together with our loved ones to celebrate this festival of the spring.

(Cross Posted at Life-of-Rubin)

Woman reading from the Torah

2006-03-27T09:49:00.000-08:00

A blog that calls itself Jewish Answers asks and answers the question:

Why don’t Orthodox women read from the Torah?

Rav Tendler takes time to provide a response that I have trouble buying into. Allow me to take some selections from his response.

"The Talmud, in Megillah 23a states that “even a woman may read from the Torah,"

Ok, so the initial response is that a woman can read from the Torah, so the question is why wouldn't or shouldn't she. Rav Tendler goes on to explain that the purpose of reading Torah is for the person reading to teach it to the congregation. He then offers the following:

"The Talmud is stating that although there is technically nothing wrong with a woman teaching Torah to men, since men have a Mitzvah to study Torah and not women, by calling up a woman you are essentially making a statement that there are no men present capable of teaching the Torah- despite the fact that it is their Mitzvah, and here is a woman who does not have this Mitzvah and she is more proficient in reading and teaching the Torah. This reflects badly on the congregation who is present and their level of Mitzvah observance and Torah proficiency. Therefore, our Rabbis said that this is inappropriate."

I have a problem with this as IMO it takes a great leap to get to the position that they are at. To suggest that because a woman is reading Torah it might mean that all of the congregants, especially those who are male are not as well educated is just silly. To me this sounds more like a case of pride, of ego over practicality.

There are most definitely times in which a woman will know more than the men around her and in the interest of getting the best education possible the men should listen to her.

From a slightly different perspective I ask when do we recognize that there are minhagim that are not halacha and that there is legitimate reason to reconsider their role and need in our lives.

I do not believe in ignoring and or changing minhag strictly because it is minhag, but at the same time to refuse to change simply because it is minhag is somewhat provincial and quite limiting.

There are reasons to reconsider why we do what we do. This may be one of those occasions.

To Love Your Fellow Jew ....

2006-03-16T12:51:00.000-08:00

V'Ohavta L'Rayecha Kamocha

One of the first songs I remember learning in Day Camp had to be the "V'ohavta" song. Do any of you know it? It goes like this:

To love a fellow Jew, just the same as you, is the basis of our holy Torah. He may be far from me, across the widened sea. Still I'll always love him just same. For 70, 80 years. Our Neshama wears and tears, just to do a favor for another. Love him with all your heart ...

[UPDATE: I remembered the ending. ...the heavens spread apart, cause every Jew is really our brother.]

I can't remember the rest. Sorry, it's been a long time since camp. Treating people with dignity and respect is harder than it sounds. It's probably one of the hardest things to do. We were all created with such different personalities that so many times do we clash with each other. We all know someone who we can't stand. We all know someone who makes so irritated that we want to go off on them.

When I was in Yeshiva I remember learning that any bad that you see in someone else usually means you have a level of the same bad thing within you. I was never really sure that I agreed with that. There are many discussions that can be had on that statement. But there is a certain level of truth to it. We see things in other people that bother us, and in some way, it bothers us because we know we can be the same way sometimes.

It doesn't matter what we do in our lives with regards to our different approaches to Judaism. The most important thing is to learn to respect the other person. We may think we know everything, we may think we are the right one. We may wonder how someone else could be so blind. Still, the first step to loving your fellow Jews, is to respect them.

Without respect, there is no platform for debate.

There is another "Vohavta" song. I think it goes like this:

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.

Just walk beside me and be my friend, and together we will walk in the way of Hashem.

March Madness has Begun

2006-03-06T23:34:00.000-08:00

And I ain't talking basketball!

It's Adar fun at The Muqata. The Purim blog parodies are "spot on" and, in an interesting twist, also demonstrative of the sense of community that has evolved in the J-Blogosphere.

So if you want to see the "real" RenReb, OrthoMom, Ezzie, Mirty, etc., check out the Purim Blogs!

Chabad Stamp

2006-03-02T13:38:00.000-08:00

I know Chabad can be controversial, especially lately, but I credit them with showing me that Judaism could be really joyous and fun. The wedding of a friend of mine in Crown Heights was an event I'll never forget. And when I was just a kid in the suburbs, the annual Chabad Chanukah parties were where I learned about "ru'ach."

I think there is a balance in Judaism and it's OK to have people on either side of that balance. I come from a very, very "Misnagid" family. So I always treasured my glimpses into the Chasidic way of life. There is, most likely, a happy medium there somewhere.

So, all in all, I like Chabad. I like what they do. So "good for them" -- they have their own Israeli stamp now! Read all about it here.

As for the image, if they had asked me (though why they would I sure don't know), I would have said to put people on it, not 770 Eastern Parkway, which is, after all, just a building. ("What? Just a building? Is the White House just a house?") But I do like it overall. Yasher Ko'ach.

Discussing Divine Punishment With a Child

2006-02-27T22:14:00.000-08:00

Earlier today I engaged in a hit-and-run post in which I asked who was Moshe Rabbeinu's father. The impetus for this was in part a fragmented memory and in part the impact of having watched a movie with my son.

The two of us watched Prince of Egypt. The film has some issues but I wasn't going to engage a five-year-old in a discussion of how the filmmakers might have taken some liberties with the movie.

Anyway, we watched a watered down version of the Exodus and it generated some tough questions. As the title of the post suggests one of the questions was in relation to divine punishment. It wasn't the easiest topic to discuss as it really is quite involved.

There is the question of why people enslave others. That is a pretty serious talk in itself as it incorporates many elements such as prejudice. It actually ties in well with the M.L.K. discussion he and I had last month, but at the same time I try not to throw too many things at him at once.

So there we were with the question of what happened to the Egyptians who were in the Red Sea. He wanted to know what happened to them and why. And for a moment I was unsure of how to respond because I didn't want to make G-d look bad.

That sounds kind of funny, doesn't it. The atheists who read this probably got a kick out of that one. But it is true, I do believe and G-d and my personal belief is not a G-d of fire and brimstone.

Part of the question is why kill all of those Egyptians. Why not come up with some other miracle. You can part the Red Sea, surely you can make them go blind for a few minutes or make them take the wrong turn and end up in cleveland. Why kill.

I am not the first person to ask those questions and I have been part of discussions that dealt with that very topic, but they are a little too sophisticated for a five-year-old.

So we meandered around a bit and talked about how some people don't like others and why it is important to judge people based upon what they do and how they behave. But I can't say that we came to a conclusion that was satisfactory to me.

But I was rescued from this awkward place as we had to run to a birthday party. I still have to come up with some answers, but I have more time to do it.

Public Prayer

2006-02-27T08:54:00.000-08:00

Shtender at HaYom posted an essay on minyans formed in public.

Reading that, I was reminded of something I saw last week that moved me. I went to a shopping center near my office to get a cup of coffee. There are many construction projects in this part of town, so it's common to see dusty, dirty Ford pickup trucks driven by strong guys in jeans, workboots and caps. I'm always a bit amused by the way they store their shoes -- stuck in the space between the cab and the truckbed -- so that it looks like someone has been stuffed inside the truck somehow.

I was passing by one truck when I noticed that the two guys hanging around the truck were not lounging in the usual posture of guys taking a work break. They both had bent their heads and rested their elbows on the truck bed wall, clasping hands together. In prayer. They remained that way, looking downward, as I stood nearby. I heard one of the them speaking softly, the words not quite audible to me. Beside him was a stack of books that had the same multi-colored pattern on the edges of the pages that Jewish "Sifrei Kodesh" have. I figured those were Bibles and other holy books.

I went in to the coffee shop, got my coffee and came back out. One of the men was now reading from a book as the other listened. Clearly, these guys were taking time out from their paid-by-the-hour day to pray and read the Bible.

It's not something you see every day.

Now here in Central Texas, we don't have minyanim forming in public places. I'm pretty sure it takes a Herculean effort just to keep a daily minyan going. (The Chabad house has them for Shacharit and Mincha.) But what if a group of ten Jewish men were gathered at the corner instead of two Christian guys?

Well, first off, that's 10 not two. At what point does a group of people, even engaged in prayer, begin to look vaguely threatening? Perhaps rather quickly, especially if the group is dressed differently than most of the population.... And even benign curiosity can be distracting if you want to focus on your prayers. Do you really need gawkers? Generally, I would agree with R' Y. Kaminetsky, quoted by Shtender, that it's best to keep your davening (praying) private, rather than become a public spectacle.

But on the other hand, seeing people praying or learning together is inspiring. One person praying on the street looks like a loon. Ten people praying may look like a gang of sorts. ("Run, they've got a siddur!") But two people praying brings a taste of peace into a busy shopping center.

Moshe Rabbeinu- Who Was His Father?

2006-02-26T11:24:00.000-08:00

I have been pondering this all morning. I can't remember learning a thing about him. Who was Moshe Rabbeinu's father and why don't we hear more about him.

Curious.

The Muktzah-Carrying Dog

2006-02-18T20:38:00.000-08:00

(Or, the lighter side of Halacha)

Last summer, my stepkids spent a Shabbat with my parents and got to experience, first-hand, the Orthodox way of observing Shabbat. They enjoyed the weekend very much, especially my mother's cooking (chicken soup, chicken, kugel, etc.). They hung around my parents' Jerusalem apartment, and successfully refrained from turning on lights or tearing toilet paper. Everyone was happy.

The only problem is that ever since then, every Shabbat the kids have loads of questions. No matter how many times I tell them I am no authority on anything -- "Ask the Rabbi!" -- they keep asking me. As if from the vaults of my childhood memory I will unearth not only what I did but why I did it.

Some of their questions from today:

Son: "If I was Orthodox, could I wear my hearing aids on Shabbat or would that be carrying?"

Mirty: "Yes, you can wear hearing aids or glasses or anything else you need for your health like that. I think it's considered part of your body; so it's not carrying."

Daughter: "You can wear glasses?"

Me: "Yes."

Daughter: "So can you carry stuff you really need, like a pencil in your pocket?"

Me: "No. You can only carry if there's an eruv or if you're in a walled city, like Jerusalem."

Husband: "Ah. The Old City in Jerusalem."

Daugher: "Can you just carry your wallet?"

Me: "Pencils and money are both muktzah. You can't touch them on Shabbat."

Daughter: "Can you --"

Me "Do you know what muktzah means?"

Daughter: "No."

Me: "It's what you can't touch on Shabbat, like money or pencils."

Daughter: "What if.... What if the dog carries your wallet into the room and drops it in the middle of the room. Can you pick it up and put it away?"

Me: "If you indeed have a muktzah-carrying dog, and I'm sure some people do, I think you have to train the dog to pick up the muktzah and put it back where he found it."

For some reason, daughter and son found this amusing.

My view of Halacha(Jewish Law)

2006-02-16T11:29:00.000-08:00

Someone asks you to build a house. And asks you to be faithful to the plans. And gives you drawings about how to build it. Well, actually lots and lots of drawings. There is the original set of plans, which are kind of sketchy on details, and some things aren't very clear. In fact, it would be difficult to build a house just on those plans. Explainations of the plans came with it, but unfortunately it isn't a clear list of details, but is a large volume of discussion about the original plans, by people who lived 800 years later, and frequently contains no resolution of the discussions. Also, those discussants lived in a different climate than you, and it isn't clear if the climate affected their house plans. Included in the discussions are some notes about how if all the serious house builders agree on something, then that detail can become accepted just as if it was part of the original plan. Then there are volumes and volumes of how many others built their houses. Some had houses in hot areas, some in humid areas, some had wild animal infestations. It isn't always clear how and if those conditions affected the plans, and if those changes were intended just for that climate, or should be accepted as changes to the original plan. Finally, you can see those around you building their houses. Some have focused on just one part of the plans. Some, for example, thought that the original planner loved arches, so they have built houses entirely of arches, neglecting many other details. Others, have just decided not to build houses at all. Some, have built houses exactly the same as the most recent builders. who were in an area that suffered from attacks from wild beasts, and had few windows and thick walls.

The person who builds the house exactly as the most recent builder, risks the least as far as being faithful to the plans. He relies on the interpretation of those that came before him, and knows at the very least, he is not doing any worse than they. Those who look at the most recent plans and find a not very pleasing house, and compare them to many of the plans that came before, notice some significant differences. They also may find esthetically pleasing houses in older plans. However, it is not clear which elements are changes that occured because of local climate and conditions, and which are original elements that are essential to the original plan. By making changes to the most recent plans, even if it is based on older plans, the person risks elminating a key ingredient. However, it also is possible that the builders made changes that weren't part of the original plan, and changing back would restore a key portion. Unfortunately, there is no foolproof way to know what is part of the original intent, and what is a product of changes over time.

The choices:

1. build a house that you know at least isn't any further from the original than the most recent builders, even though it isn't asthetically pleasing to you.

2. read as many of the plans as you can, try to figure out a plan that fits within the framework of the plans you have been given, but also fits with your idea of what the original planner wanted.

3. read as many of the plans as you can, especially the older ones. Try to figure out which details got changed, and why, and if there is a good reason to change back.

4. Read a few of the plans, especially the original, and make up the plans that you think are the original planner would want, even if parts go against all the subsequent plans.

5. Not build a house at all, or, ignore the plans completely.

I go with number 3.

Oh, and remember the references to the idea that if every(or almost every) serious builder agrees on a detail, it is accepted as part of the original plan.

Build away.

(Cross posted at BavaDilbert)

Taking Advice

2006-02-13T16:24:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone, as I said on my other blog, I am in the middle of a Blog Hiatus. I plan on returning the first week in March. But that doesnt mean I can't blog on TJC. So here it goes.

Today I was reading through the Parsha and I had these thoughts.

This weeks Torah portion is a big one. The big event that sticks out of course is the giving of the Ten Commandments. Every year this is the main topic of discussion for this weeks Torah portion. Parshas Yisro.

One of the things I like about this parsha is the concept of being able to take advice. The whole getting the Ten Commandments is a very important event, no doubt, and there are many lessons and great things to be learned from that. But for me, what more than anything else sticks out, is the concept of taking advice.

Yisro see's that Moshe is having a hard time judging all the cases that are coming before him. Yisro suggests to Moshe to set up a court of judges, and that they should assist Moshe in governing the nation and deciding cases.

This wasn't just an instance of one person taking advice from another person. This was a case of someone who was the leader of an entire nation, who had gone through so much. After everything that happened in Egypt, after growing up in the royal palace, after freeing an entire nation, the splitting of the red sea, after wandering the dessert, after everything that transpired, he was being given advice. Someone who could have just as easily said. "You're giving me advice? Who are you? do you know what I've accomplished so far? Thanks anyway, I'll be fine." He didnt, obviously, and of course this speak volumes about the type of hero and leader Moshe was.

Still, the way I see it this goes deeper. He was being given advice from a 'parental' figure, and not an actual parent, but an in-law. The very people we always want to look good in front of. Most people don't want to take advice from an in-law. It makes them feel like they aren't able to fend for themselves. Many son in-laws want to impress their father in-laws, showing them that their daughter made the right choice.

In some ways its better if the advice would have come from an actual parent, but from a father in law? He still took the advice. It can go even deeper. Yisro was not just his father in law, but he was an outsider. As much of an outsider as it was possible. This wasn't some relative of Yosef Hatzadik or Avraham, Yitzchok or Yaakov Avinu, but some guy who used to be a priest. He was a convert, and more than that, he didn't even leave with them from Egypt or go through the red sea, or live through the plagues.

He met them while they were already in the dessert. I don't think advice could have come from a more unlikely place. Yet he took it. This to me is a great lesson. Taking advice is sometimes the hardest thing to do for anyone. We all want to think we can handle things on our own. We all want to try to do things without seeking help. No one WANTS to ask for help. Moshe was trying to do the best he could, and things were getting hectic. Yisro saw this and had a good idea. He came to Moshe and Moshe took his advice.

This ties into probably one of the most popular questions people ask stemming from this weeks Parsha. In a Torah portion where we have the Ten Commandments. One of the biggest events in all of Jewish history, the Parsha is named after an outsider, highlighting a story about a convert who had some good ideas. Yisro was chosen as the name over all the names that would have pointed to us receiving the Aseras Hadibros.

This shows you the lengths that we have to go to respect people. Taking advice in a way is a lesson in respect. You have to be able to respect people to take their advice. Or more so, respect that you are not perfect. Everyone can take advice. Even from someone who you think would have nothing to offer. Someone like Yisro, who came from such a distant place to end up giving the leader of the Jewish people advice.

We learn from this, that even greater than the Ten Commandments is the concept of respect. At least that's what I take from this. I'm not a Rabbi of course, just some guy with a blog.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and it wasnt too serious or preachy.

Kiwi's Questions #4

2006-02-09T10:41:00.000-08:00

This is the last of the questions:

Are there still Orthodox Jews who oppose the use of Hebrew in secular life? Why, when it's prophesied in the Torah?

I'm just going to break into my own little tangent here. I've started to wonder whether the Hebrew Language is a benefit or a detriment to Jewish spirituality. I look at people who struggle just to understand the words of the prayers or the Torah and are either unsuccessful, or put so much effort into the mechanics of translation that there's little energy left over for the actual understanding of what's written. Or I see people who pray with much enthusiasm, but obviously don't understand the words and might as well be saying mumbo-jumbo. And on the other side of the coin, I see secular Israelis, who should have no trouble understanding a Siddur or reading the various Jewish texts from over the millennia, who are completely uninterested in it or even turned off by it.

Does the language barrier also provide a shield, so we don't actually have to think about what we're saying? Is it easier to sing the "praises of the Lord" in a foreign language, than to say it in English where it starts to sound very hokey? I myself find that I much prefer to sing songs that are only in Hebrew, and that when they are translated into English I get uncomfortable with them.

OK, now go discuss.

Kiwi's Questions #3

2006-02-09T10:38:00.000-08:00

A few more questions from Kiwi:

3. The Torah says that those who curse Israel will be cursed, which would certainly apply to the Arabs, especially the palestinians. Is there any similar prophecy that would apply to those within Israel who unwittingly oppose God's purpose? Pat Robertson thinks so, but I don't trust him. If he were right, Christians and Jews should be sorrowful, not self-righteous, and praying for Ariel Sharon.

4. Why does Israel require women to serve equally in the military with men? Isn't that contrary to Jewish history and Orthodox social norms? There were women military leaders in the past, but they were the exception, as I understand.

5. Apparently in the beginning of the Zionist movement, Jews began buying property in historical Israel and restoring it. Since nobody had really claimed that land until the palestinians started whining (apparently later), why did the Jews need to buy it, and who did they buy it from?

The Advantages of a Being a Ger/Jew By Choice

2006-02-09T09:54:00.000-08:00

During the last four months or so I have encountered a number of Gerim. For those who are not MOT you can translate this to mean someone who has converted to Judaism or you can use the headline Jew By Choice.

However, I need to add that from a personal standpoint I am not real fond of applying Jew By Choice strictly to those who have converted as I like to think of myself as being a Jew By Choice. That is, I choose to be Jewish because I want to be not just because I was born a Jew.

That brings me to the next point which is that I find it interesting to hear why people convert to Judaism. It is not something that you hear about every day. There are a variety of reasons for it, some of them are based upon historical incidents in which proselytization of non-Jews was dangerous.

If you are interested you can find some background on conversion and topics surrounding it by starting here. In the interim I have a different focus for this post.

One of the challenges of being brought up with a particular faith or set of values is that we often do not take the time to really question why we believe what we believe. We simply watch our parents and mimic their behavior. "Dad was Democrat and so am I," blah, blah, blah.

In concept this doesn't sound like a problem but in reality I think that there are issues with it. The area that takes primacy is a question of values. What values are important to you and why. They may not be the same as your parents. That doesn't automatically disqualify or lessen their importance.

From my standpoint I think that it is important for people to consider what they believe and why. I like to understand why I think it is important to act/behave in a certain fashion. I want to know my principles well enough to explain them in a clear and succinct fashion. It helps me to understand myself and what place I want to take in the world around me. It also helps to guide me in guiding my children.

So when I look at people who convert to Judaism I view them as someone who has taken time to consider their beliefs and reached a place in which they see Judaism as filling a natural and important role. And I see them as often having a deeper and better understanding of why they are Jews than many of us who were born Jewish. And to me that is valuable.

What do you think?

Kiwi's Questions #2

2006-02-08T10:18:00.000-08:00

Here's the second question from Kiwi the Geek:

I've heard that prophecies say the Arabs and Jews will always be in conflict. Where does the Torah say this? The only place I know is concerning the conflict between Jacob & Esau, but I'm under the impression that the Arabs are Ishmael's descendents, not Esau's.

Kiwi's Questions #1

2006-02-07T09:05:00.000-08:00

The following is from an email I received from Kiwi the Geek, a long-time Psychotoddler reader and fellow blogger on Our Kids Speak. She has some interesting questions and I thought it would be good to post them here so that people more knowledgeable than me can have a chance to respond to them. Specifically, she is looking for the Orthodox view, but I'd be interested in all points of view. If any of you know of someone who can answer these questions authoritatively, please direct them here.

Part 1:

I hope this doesn't weird you out too much, since I'm a Christian, but I have some questions about prophecy & Israel & such that you might be able to help me with, or direct me to some websites. If you don't mind. I just watched a documentary on the subject. Obviously some of the answers are in my Old Testament, but I don't know where to find them...

Apparently part of what was once Israel -- the tribes of Mannasseh, Reuben, and Gad -- are now undisputed territory of Jordan. (By undisputed I mean in contrast to the West Bank and Gaza.) Are these considered the rightful territory of Israel today or not, since those tribes requested the land long after God's many promises, just before the Israelites began to take possession of Canaan? Are there groups that want to reclaim that area as well?

Amona

2006-02-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

I don't want to take sides. I don't want to say one side is right and the other is wrong. Most of the pictures I see just upset me. Last year during the disengagement we saw pictures like these:

And now we see this:

I am ashamed and embarrassed. We are better than this.

The Big Dunk and a Little Prick

2006-02-01T08:05:00.000-08:00

Sometime in December it occurred to me that my son was quickly approaching his 13th birthday. Now, there is no thought, just yet anyway, of his bar mitzvah because he didn't start his Jewish education until he was 9 and he's only halfway through the second year of Hebrew School...and we require starting the fourth year before they can even consider bar mitzvah training.

But in December, at an oneg, people started coming up to me and asking me really strange questions. At least I thought they were strange.

I mean here we were, full members for the past three years and change...ever since my bet dein and mikveh on 30 Sivan 5763. Ever since, we had dutifully enrolled the Boy into Sunday School and when the time came, Hebrew School, and fully participated, with him, in synagogue life.

We chaperoned Hebrew School trips to Squirrel Hill and made shalach manot baskets and delivered them on Purim. It was well known that we constructed a sukkah every single Sukkot. The rabbi had always made sure we were invited somewhere for first seder and we always attended the community second seder. We didn't miss a second of High Holidays since we joined and you could count on us for Kabbalat Shabbat services every.single.week. Our son had perfect attendance in Sunday School as well as service attendance.

It wasn't like we were invisible.

So when three DIFFERENT people came up to me in December and asked me if Evan was being raised as a Jew...well, to put it frankly, it blew my mind. I had thought our decision to be pretty obvious. I mean, when we enrolled him in Sunday School one of the commitments we had to agree to was to raise him AS A JEW. So when the Director of Education came over during an oneg and asked me if we were raising him as a Jew...well, yeah, I was a little lost for words.

When I converted I had wanted to bring my son with me. Convert the both of us at the same time. But my rabbi didn't want to do it that way. She said to wait. So we waited. And waited. And waited. And now here we are and Evan is going to be 13 and he needs to go to the mikveh and have the hatafat dam brit.

The Big Dunk and a Little Prick.

I spoke to more than one of my friends about it. And they all agreed, it was something that needs to be done and done soon.

But oy, have you ever contemplated telling a 13 year old boy with autism what a hatafat dam brit is?

The answer is...why yes, he did freak out!

Because he freaked out so badly, we tabled that discussion for a while. Maybe the rabbi, when she gets back from Israel, can explain it in more delicate terms than I did because when I was done, my son was absolutely convinced we were going to cut his penis right off his body.

Now the mikveh, that was easy. I explained to him that he would need to go to the mikveh. I said it in Jewish terms using real Hebrew words to explain...I said "mikveh" not "bathtub" for example. I told him he would go into the mikveh which is filled chest high with very warm water and that he would go under three times and recite special prayers and when he comes out he will be a REAL Jewish boy.

And I was sure he understood it because he talked about it quite a bit after I had told him what it was and he always was so excited becausee it was what would make him, finally, a REAL JEWISH BOY...which is what he thinks he is anyway. And which is why completing his conversion is so critical right now. I shudder to think when someone may dare to challenge his internal Jewishness because the final steps have yet to be taken.

It would really do him in I think.

Well, I told him not to discuss it with his Hebrew class or the teacher or the rabbi because it was private and when the time was right, we could all discuss it together. And I was sure he'd listen to me. He's a good boy. He usually does.

Until the very evening when I had told him NOT to discuss it and I dropped him off for Hebrew School and then came back an hour and a half later and ran into the rabbi as she was going into her office between bar mitzvah students.

"You will never believe what your son asked me," she said.

A million things went through my mind. With my son? It could be anything from the properness of escorting a Catholic girl to the school dance to debating whether it really WAS Eve's fault that she and Adam got thrown out of Gan Eden.

"Really?" I said, following her to her office.

"Yeah, he wanted to know when he was being baptized."

Evan's Hebrew teacher who is from Israel fell over chuckling about it. She said the rabbi handled it very well when Evan asked...even though *I* was mortified.

Hopefully this all will be taken care of soon and then we can ALL laugh.

(crossposted at Matzah and Marinara)

Let's Talk about Money

2006-01-31T13:21:00.000-08:00

I'm going to start with two foolish assumptions:

1. Each one of us, regardless of income, feels crunched for money at times.

2. Each one of us is asked to pony up cash to support our synagogue / temple / Jewish day school / other Jewish organization, and has to make choices between what to keep for ourselves and what to give.

Tzedakah is often poorly translated as "charity" but more accurately means "justice" or "righteousness." We give money not out of the kindness of our own hearts, but because this is how one maintains a just and righteous world. The assets of this world -- land and money -- are not equally divided. And never will be, I presume. So we redistribute those assets by writing checks to help the hungry, the homeless, the needy and... the synagogue building fund.

It's so natural to give when you hear about hurricane Katrina. You want to help someone whose home has been destroyed. But to give another pledge to the synagogue, another check to the building fund, one more to this school or that. Oy, how much is enough? When do you give? When do you not give?

I'm not questioning paying temple or synagogue dues, of course we should, but we're also asked to give over and above that. How do you decide how much is enough? When you make your household budget, what is allocated to tzedakah, and to which worthy causes do you give? Do you give only to Jewish causes or to all kinds of charities?

I have to admit I haven't until now thought these questions through. It's always worked like this: Requests for money arrive at the door or call on the phone, and I or my husband do some quick but vague calculations and offer a dollar amount that we figure will help the organization, give us a little glow, but not leave us cursing later when we can't pay the emergency room bill for child 1 or 2 who fell out of a tree.

But I have a feeling... that we're not giving enough. Tzedakah is not a minor thing in Judaism. It is one of the pillars of our religion. I was putting my pennies in the pushka when I was barely tall enough to reach the kitchen counter. We teach it to our children and proclaim it in all our communities. But between the recognition of tzedakah's importance and the writing of the check... there falls doubt. Does [organization x] really need this money? What about the kids' college education - can I ever save enough?

So, tell me, how do you and your family deal with giving tzedakah? Let's talk about money.

(Tecnical note: To comment, click on the little number next to the title of this post. It's ZERO now. How sad. Please help. Comment generously.)

Another Update

2006-01-26T12:09:00.000-08:00

After spending some time playing with a WordPress version of this blog, I decided to stick it out with blogger for the mean time. I really wanted a simple way to implement categories so that when we write a post, all we have to do is check our name and the category and finished it's done. I actually did set up a wordpress blog, but then I found out they don't have template editing. So that means the look I set up here and the header image etc wouldn't be used. There are ways to edit the template but they involved hosting's costs and much more intensive code work than I'm able to take on.

It's a shame cause it's so super easy to use. Meanwhile I'm keeping that blog around, to manually (when I have time) tag each post with a category and author. I was reading that there are edit templates for WordPress in Beta, so maybe eventually we will get the best of both worlds.

In the meantime I added a great search field on the side, and played with the code so it works nicely for this blog and fits well. If someone wants to find a topic, just type it into that's search field. I also designed a button image if anyone wants to add it to their blog. You don't have to, it's just in case someone wants to.

Here it is: If you need the code e-mail me.

Have a great day/night and I'll update next when something else changes.

Tweak Tweak

2006-01-25T11:14:00.000-08:00

I did some slight cosmetic work here. I hope everyone likes it. I'd also like if all the writers would e-mail me your favorite post on TJC that they wrote, I'd be very thankful. I'd like to add an "Our Favorites Section" to the sidebar. The comment section is especially neat and there is now an email button to email a post to a friend.

Update: Wow, ten Jews 22 opinions :-) Thanks for the feedback. The comments are funny. They work, but when you click post, it just posts, it doesn't stop or say, now posted. I'm going to work on all these things. I'm also going to try to change the font back to the other way. I'm going to try to give this site more attention. I really enjoy this blog, I enjoy reading everyone's posts. So I want to make the blog look more than just a basic blogger template. It's something I'm very proud of and want to show it off :-)

Keep on posting, try not to notice the construction guys :-)

Forced Thankfulness

2006-01-25T04:38:00.000-08:00

Cross Posted on Life-Of-Rubin)

Every morning when I wake up I try my hardest to remember to say Modeh Ani. It's something that I do forget to do quite often. I try to remember, but sometimes I forget. It's one of the things I work on. It might seem like a small thing and in some ways it is. But I really think it means a lot. Sometimes in being frum we are reminded that we are obligated to do the mitzvos. It becomes something that we are supposed to do. That we have to do. Something that we must do, and not something that we want to do. The lessons in these smaller things are sometimes the greatest lessons in life that we can learn.

Modeh Ani is in it's simplest form, thanking Hashem for returning our neshoma to us each morning. We thank Hashem for waking up. How simplistic no? Just for waking up. Our day didnt even start. Nothing has happened yet. We are in essence thanking him for a day that has yet to unfold. In fact it's possible that we could have a bad day. (I had a bad day again ... She said I would not understand .... sorry .. got lost in a good song ...) So yes, it's possible that we may have a bad day. So it seems odd that we are thanking Hashem for a day that hasnt unfoled yet.

Of course it's entirely possible that I'm reading into this wrong and we are thanking him for the overall picture. For the time we've had so far. Either way, the lesson thats eaisly learnt here is that no matter the time of refeence. It's important to be thankful in general. I would like to think we are thanking Him for a day that has yet to unfold because in that way the lesson I take from saying Modeh Ani is that much stronger.

Like I said before, i think that in the smaller mitzvos that we do, lay the biggest lessons for us. Lessons that are not always deep devar torahs or answers to deep rooted questions of chasidic phlisophy or jewish life. Sometimes it's the simple lessons of life and daily conduct that we learn from these "small" gems.

Like many mitzvos that we do, even the "bigger" ones, I feel that even though we are obligated to do them. They are sometimes practicly speaking - good for us. Like thanking Hashem. It's good to remember to be thankful. To take stock in our lives. To be happy with our lot and have a positive outlook on our day. Sometimes our "obligation" to do these mitzvos force us to do something so simple that we really should be doing it anyway.

PostScript: I really like this song. It's from this album.

What is My Purpose?

2006-01-23T22:59:00.000-08:00

King Without A Crown

Chorus:
What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
Givin' myself to you from the essence of my being
Sing to my G-d all these songs of love and healing
Want Moshiach now so it's time we start revealing

You're all that I have and you're all that I need
Each and every day I pray to get to know you please
I want to be close to you, yes I'm so hungry
You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe
Sometimes the world is dark and I just can't see
With these, demons surround all around to bring me down to negativity
But I believe, yes I believe, I said I believe
I'll stand on my own two feet
Won't be brought down on one knee
Fight with all of my might and get these demons to flee
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Out of darkness comes light, twilight unto the heights
Crown Heights burnin' up all through till midnight
Said, thank you to my G-d, now I finally got it right
And I'll fight with all of my heart, and all a' my soul, and all a' my might

Chorus

Bridge:
Me no want no sinsemilla.
That would only bring me down
Burn away my brain no way my brain is to compound
Torah food for my brain let it rain till I drown
Thunder!
Let the blessings come down

Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high then you're bound to stay low
You want G-d but you can't deflate your ego
If you're already there then there's nowhere to go
If you're cup's already full then its bound to overflow
If you're drowning in the water's and you can't stay afloat
Ask Hashem for mercy and he'll throw you a rope
You're looking for help from G-d you say he couldn't be found
Looking up to the sky and searchin' beneath the ground
Like a King without his Crown
Yes, you keep fallin' down
You really want to live but can't get rid of your frown
Tried to reach unto the heights and wound bound down on the ground
Given up your pride and the you heard a sound
Out of night comes day and out of day comes light
Nullified to the One like sunlight in a ray,
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze

Chorus

Reelin' him in
Where ya been
Where ya been
Where ya been for so long
It's hard to stay strong been livin' in galus (exile) for 2000 years strong
Where ya been for so long
Been livin in this exhile for too long"
Matisyahu- King Without A Crown

This song just resonates with me. It is more than a song, it is Matisyahu davening with reckless abandon. It is a love song to Hashem, or at least that is how I take it. It is deep and full of an energy that grabs me and that is not easy, not something that I can be, do or feel. What I mean is that I find it so hard to grab ahold of davening.

So often it feels to me like I am grabbing at smoke. I am clutching a handful of water and the harder I try to hold onto it the faster I lose it. That connection, that feeling, that sense of being in harmony, that feeling that there is a higher purpose and being. I struggle and I struggle and I fight to maintain that feeling.

I am torn between worlds. I live in one and look across the sea at another. I am not what many would call a Torah observant Jew. I do not keep Kosher, am not Shomer Shabbos but there is a calling. There is a voice that calls to me and I do not know how to identify it.

I have had ample opportunity to find the derech and to walk a different path than I do, but in truth I am comfortable. I have gathered those who have less than I and brought some of them further down the path, closer to the derech, but kiruv is not what I want or am trying to engage in.

I don't believe in radical change. I don't have enough to make me take the next steps and frankly I am not sure that I ever will or that I need to. It is not that I cannot see myself becoming Shomer Mitzvot. There is a reason why some people think have suggested that I am primed to go to seminary. But there are reasons why I yelled at G-d and reasons why I am not sure that this would be a good idea.

I don't buy into answers that go along the lines of "you just don't understand the plan." They are too pat, too easy and too irritating to just accept. That is not to say that there are not moments when the connection is strong, of course there are and I am thankful for them.

What am I really saying? I suppose that I am like so many others. I am looking for my place. Where do I want to be? At whose table do I want to sit? What is going to bring the most meaning to me and how can I make that happen?

When I ask what my purpose is I am not really asking. I have an understanding of that and it works for me. I suppose that what I am saying is that sometimes I want to skip the journey and see the finish. Tell me the who, what, where, why and how and I'll be forever grateful or maybe I won't. Maybe the most important part is the journey and that which is yet to come.

Thanks for listening to me babble, I appreciate it.

The Shabbos Queen (hangs out in my house)

2006-01-22T01:20:00.000-08:00

The Shabbos Queen

She shakes out the crisp, cream linen,
placing it on the cherrywood tabletop.

Unfurling and spreading its edges
and smoothing out
its fine wrinkles,
she steps back to admire
her handiwork.

A set of silver salt-and-pepper shakers
come next --a wedding gift from years ago.
Silver, yet tarnished,
it’s difficult to make out
the filigreed S and P.
Perhaps this Shabbos, like an earlier one,
a little pepper will mistakenly do a dance with a little salt –
the Lambada, the “forbidden dance” -- atop our challah slices.

The olivewood challah board
with its jagged-ridged knife
have their place in the right-hand cornerof this table --
two sesame-seed-sprinkled challah buns
warm from the oven
soon to take their place
atop the board.

The bottle of grape juice
holds center court,
surrounded by little silver soldiers all lined up.

And nearby, on a smooth melamine-wooded surface,
sits an elongated tray,
a modern piece of art that doubles as a wedding gift.

Atop that tray, standing tall and proud,
are Shabbos candlesticks: the parents and the children.
The parents, a wedding gift from the man of the house,
bought in New York’s Brooklyn,
where the silver is grand.
The children, a smaller set,
identical twins to the parents,
bought in Toronto,
where the silver is elegant sterling.
The smaller set, a gift from the man of the house,
upon the birth of a second child.

These four candlesticks and another lone candlestick
warm to the sights and sounds of Shabbos,
each one glowing happily.

Reflected in their flames is the holiness --
the transformation of everyday to special day.

The Shabbos Queen sits back, admires the scene and smiles.

Her blessings are bountiful.

Do We Really Want Moshiach?

2006-01-16T10:53:00.000-08:00

I’ve been itching to write a post on this for a while, but never got around to it. Then today I read an excellent post on Jack’s site talking about Moshiach. It inspired me to write a post of my own.

What is Moshiach? Moshiach is the era that we will experience when the Jewish people will be redeemed from the exile we are in. Like any tragic thing that happens in this world. As time goes on we are sadly removed from the pure pain of it. We were run out of our own home, for the second time, and are now living in a time where there is no Holy Temple. It’s hard for us today, to even imagine what this would be like.

We have been so far removed from anything even like that, we can’t comprehend our lives today fitting into a world where we attend services and sacrificial ceremonies at a temple in Jerusalem. Where we come to our cohanim (priests) and bring them gifts that they will place on an alter in a Holy room in a Jewish Temple.

Is this scaring you? Does this all sound wacky. Is this sound like something you want? But it’s something as a Jew that we are obligated to believe in everyday. We say every day, I believe with PERFECT faith, in the coming of Moshiach, and even if he may tarry I will still believe every day.

Today my biggest question is, do we really even want Moshiach? As a kid I grew up in a very poor family. My father used to always say, “oy we need Moshiach” he wanted Moshiach, because he didn’t know where his next paycheck was coming from, or how he was going to pay the phone or electric bill. He believed his life was filled with hardship and that when Moshiach comes that this will all be over.

I always felt that was wrong. That isn’t why you should want Moshiach to come. In fact, I always wondered how rich people felt about this. Will they be able to drive their Lexus BMW’s to the Beis Hamikdash? Will they want to give up their fancy suits and designers clothing? Will they have to live in a smaller home in Israel?

Today thank G-d, I am not in the same financial situation my parents raised me in. I work very hard, and fought tooth and nail to get to a point where I am able to provide for my family and live a happy, comfortable life. I am not rich by any means. But I can pay the bills just fine and I don’t have to worry about those types of things.

Here I am, happy. So why do I want Moshiach? Even writing something like that sends off alerts and sirens in my frum head. How that is even something I can think out loud? I don’t know, but it is. I know that there are big issues in the world. There are many nations, countries and people that have it really bad. There are horrible tragedies happening every where including sickness, disease, war, famine, death, people who have no homes, no money, no happiness.

I can understand that when Moshiach comes all these things will be dealt with. Peace will come to the world, and that is something in itself to pray for. Then I come back to my father, and I wonder, maybe there isn’t any better reason to want Moshiach. Your own suffering only magnifies the want.

I can’t speak for anyone but myself, I often wonder how badly I really want Moshiach, I can say that it may come down to an issue of selfishness. Maybe I don’t know if I want Moshiach because I **think** I’m happy. I’m only truly happy superficially. When I really think about it, I know that we all need Moshiach, because we weren’t created to be content with just having money, or having a nice home or being successful in business.

We all really crave to feel more spirituality. I may sometimes find it hard to imagine a world of Moshiach. I may not understand how it will work. But I still feel underneath all the confusion and questions that I do want it. I’m not sure why always, but I know I want it.

If you want to know more about Moshiach, here are some sites that have a great resource of information.

What is Moshiach?

The Skeptic and the Believer

The Third Millennium

End of Days

Hell- Banished From Gan Eden

2006-01-14T23:32:00.000-08:00

Just a random thought to share with you. I suspect that I am not the first to think of this. Many people speak longingly about Gan Eden as being paradise. They speak of being fortunate enough to live in a similar situation.

It occurs to me that one of the more difficult situations a person can be placed in is to experience paradise and then to lose it.

So I wonder about our forefather/foremother. How bitter was the exile from Gan Eden? What did it do to them and how did they handle it. In theory people who have never had to worry about anything would have limited coping skills.

And there you have five minutes of my musings. What do you think?

(Crossposted on Jack's Shack)

Mirty

2006-01-09T11:42:00.000-08:00

I would just like to remind people that our wonderful and talented Mirty, was nominated for a post written on this blog. Please be so kind as to mosey on over to the JIBs and give her a vote.

Read the post nominated HERE and again thanks Mirty for being a part of this group.

While your there, please remember The Jewish Connection when voting for best designed blog and later for best group blog.

What, exactly, is a "Jewish" name?

2006-01-07T18:07:00.000-08:00

A Simple Jew wrote an interesting post on the Jewish name that he chose for himself. I raised an interesting point in the comments. Check it out.

Why I'm going where I'm going

2006-01-04T09:48:00.000-08:00

I was asked a number of very intellegent question based on my previous post, and rather than put a long comment, I have decided to impose the answer and the viewing public. My apologies to those who dont want to read it, feel free to skip.

Up until 10 years ago or so, I practiced my form of MO, which basically was keep kosher, shabbat/chagim, learn a little here and there, go to shul on shabbat and chagim, with little thought about what my religion asked of me. Basically I was on autopilot, with the autopilot being a combination of what practices I grew up with, had seen around me, and the prevailing practice of the community around me. Gradually, I came to the realization that this may not be enough. That there was an entire shulchan aruch(code of Jewish law) full of laws and practices, some of which I performed, some of which I didnt. It occured to me that while the practices handed down to me by my parents certainly were important, that body of knowledge and deed may not be the entirety of what God expected of me as an observant Jew. This did not mean that I had to immediately adopt every specific law and practice that I came across, but it did mean that I had to examine what I did, look at the sources as best as possible, and try to figure out exactly what God expected of me, and to try, as best as I could, to do it.

Take the example of showering on Shabbat(I do not intend to make this a halacha shiur, and please dont take my word for any of this, ask a competent authority). It seems clear to me that washing on Shabbat is allowed(many used to go to a mikva on Shabbat morning, some still do), but there may be a problem with hot water and certainly with wringing out the towel or hair. So, there is probably a way to stay within the bounds of halacha and still shower, but the way I was doing it didn't, by any stretch of orthodox imagination. Showering on Shabbat was never viewed in my family as a problem. However, I could not find any viable halachic way to make it a valid practice for me. So I stopped. It didn't change my life, and no one in shul has complained about excessive body odour.

I believe in God. The God of the Bible, Tanach, on down. I believe some of the concepts of Oral Torah(Mishna/Gemara) were given at Sinai, and a lot of it was put together by the Rabbis. I accept that the Rabbis who wrote the Gemara may have made mistakes, especially in science and in society. However, I feel bound by what has been handed down over the generations and accepted as practice. As a caveat, if something has become accepted but was based on wrong information or beliefs, it doesn't neccessarily have binding authority and has to be examined carefully. In other words, rabbinic decisions(including the gemara, to some extent) have to be seen in their context, historical, social, and psychological.

What does this mean for present day practice and what I do? Lets take some examples:
Its clear to me from the sources that we are required to make a bracha before and after eating. Its not neccesarily a big deal, but it is a requirement. I sometimes forget, and if I do, and then realize it, I resolve to try to remember. No one external makes me feel bad. I feel bad because in a very small way, I haven't done what God asked me to do. The guilt doesn't ruin my day, I figure God understands. But it would have been better if I had done it, thats all.

But this examination doesn't end with minutae of practice. It also holds for broad concepts and attitudes. I dont think that my Judaism ends with practices. Unfortunately, many MO have the idea that Judaism can be Jewish practice, and secular values and culture. Concepts such as moderation of luxury, charity, education, modesty are tremendously important, and I find that they sometimes get glossed over by those of us who engage society fully. I dont want my kids watching Shakira shake her belly button, even though I think that TV can be useful and we certainly have a few in my house. I dont want my kids thinking that a 20,000 square foot home is neccessary for living. I try to live in moderation, no matter what resources are available, and if more is available, then that is more for tzeddakka. To answer the question about plunging neck lines, my guess is that the wearer of that article of clothing did not ask him/herself, "is this really what God thinks is appropriate?", and simply is following popular culture, with no thought as to what Judaism has to say about it.

I am not claiming that we all should walk around constantly thinking, "does God want me to turn here? take the elevetor to the 3rd floor?" But our thoughts and actions should be informed(always wanted to use the word that way, this is the first time) by a sense that we are God's creatures, and are here to obey His word. The exact contours of the Word is different for most of us, but we at least should try to have an acknowledgment or a thought of Him as we go through our day. That is what I am trying to achieve. It is what I think He wants.

What Do Jews Do at a Stop Sign?

2006-01-01T20:39:00.000-08:00

This is supposed to be a joke. (No, I did not write it - I found it. It can be found in several places on the net. Not sure where it originated.) I went through it and found defining/explanatory links for certain terms for the curious:

1. An average Jew doesn't bother to read the sign but will stop if the car in front of him does.

2. A fundamentalist stops at the sign and waits for it to tell him to go.

3. An Orthodox Jew does one of two things: a) Stops at the sign, says, "Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the universe, who has given us your commandment to stop," waits 3 seconds according to his watch, and then proceeds.

b) Takes another route to work that doesn't have a stop sign so that he doesn't run the risk of disobeying the halachah.

4. A Haredi does the same thing as the Orthodox Jew, except that he waits 10 seconds instead of 3. He also replaces his brake lights with 1000-watt searchlights and connects his horn so that it is activated whenever he touches the brake pedal.

5. An Orthodox woman concludes that she is not allowed to observe the mitzvah of stopping because she is niddah. This is a dilemma, because the stop sign is located on her way to the mikveh.

6. A Talmudic scholar consults his holy books and finds these comments on the stop sign:

R. Meir says: He who does not stop shall not live long.

R. Hillel says: Cursed is he who does not count to three before proceeding.

R. Shimon ben Yehudah says: Why three? Because the Holy One, blessed be He, gave us the Law, the Prophets, and the Writings.

R. ben Yitzhak says: Becase of the three patriarchs.

R. Yehuda says: Why bless the Lord at a stop sign? Because it says, "Be still, and know that I am God."

R. Yehezkel says: When Jephthah returned from defeating the Ammonites, the Holy One, blessed be He, knew that a donkey would run out of the house and overtake his daughter; but Jephthah did not stop at the stop sign, and the donkey did not have time to come out. For this reason he saw his daughter first and lost her. Thus was he judged for his transgression at the stop sign.

R. Gamaliel says: R. Hillel, when he was a baby, never spoke a word, though his parents tried to teach him by speaking and showing him the words on a scroll. One day his father was driving through town and did not stop at the sign. Young Hillel called out, "Stop, father!" In this way, he began reading and speaking at the same time. Thus it is written, "Out of the mouths of babes."

R. ben Natan says: When were stop signs created? On the fourth day, as it is written, "Let them serve as signs."

But R. Yehoshua says...."[continues for three more pages]

7. A Breslover Chasid sees the sign and prays, saying "Ribono shel Olam, [Master of the world]here I am, traveling on the road in Your service, and I am about to face who knows what danger at this intersection in my life. So please watch over me and help me to get through this stop sign safely." Then, "looking neither to left nor right" as Rebbe Nachman advises, he joyfully accepts the challenge, remains focused on his goal, even as the car rolls backward for a moment, then hits the accelerator and forges bravely forward, overcoming all obstacles which the yetzer hara might put in his path.

8. A Lubavitcher Chasid stops at the sign and reads it very carefully in the light of the Rebbe's teachings. Next, he gets out of the car and sets up a roadside mitzvah-mobile, taking this opportunity to ask other Jewish drivers who stop at the stop sign whether they have put on tefillin today or whether they light Shabbat candles. Having now settled there, he steadfastly refuses to give up a single inch of the land he occupies until Mashiach comes.

9. A Conservative Jew calls his rabbi and asks whether stopping at this sign is required by unanimous ruling of the Commission on Jewish Law or if there is a minority position. While waiting for the rabbi's answer, he is ticketed by a policeman for obstructing traffic.

10. A secular Jew rejects the sign as a vestige of an archaic and outmoded value system with no relevance to the modern world, and ignores it completely.

11. a Reform Jew coasts up to the sign while contemplating the question, "Do I personally feel commanded to stop?" During his deliberation he edges into the intersections and is hit from behind by the secular Jew.

12. A Reconstructionist Jew reasons: First, this sign is a legacy of our historic civilization and therefore I must honor it. On the other hand, since "the past has a vote and not a veto" I must study the issue and decide whether the argument in favor of stopping is spiritually, intellectually, and culturally compelling enough to be worth perpetuating. If so, I will vote with the past; if not, I will veto it. Finally, is there any way that I can revalue the stop sign's message so as to remain valid for our own time?

13. A Renewal Movement Jew meditates on whether the stop sign applies in all of the kabbalistic Four Worlds [body-emotion-mind-spirit] or only in some of them, and if so, which ones? Must he stop feeling? Thinking? Being? Driving? Since he has stopped to breathe and meditate on these questions, he is quite safe while he does so, baruch HaShem.

14. A bibilical scholar points out that there are a number of stylistic differences between the first and second halves of the passage "STOP."

For Example, "ST" contains no enclosed areas and five line endings, whereas "OP" contains two enclosed areas and only one line termination. He concludes that the first and second parts are the work of different authors who probably lived several centuries apart.

Later scholars determine that the second half is itself actually written by two separate authors because of similar stylisitic differences between the "O" and "P".

15. Because of the difficulties in interpretation, another biblical scholar amends the text, changing "T" to "H." "SHOP" is much easier to understand in this context than "STOP" because of the multiplicity of stores in the area. The textual corruption probably occurred because "SHOP" is so similar to "STOP" on the sign several streets back that it is a natural mistake for a scribe to make. Thus the sign should be interpreted to announce the existence of a commercial district.

16. Yet another biblical scholar notes that the stop sign would fit better into another intersection three streets back. Clearly it was moved to its present location by a later redactor. He thus interprets the present intersection as though the stop sign were not there.

Tearing Toilet Paper on Shabbos

2005-12-29T23:41:00.000-08:00

This post here led to some interesting comments and questions both online and off. One of the questions that garnered some attention was this one.

"Um? Could someone please explain the tearing of toilet paper comments to me?"

As an answer someone provided this link which I reviewed as I do all links that come across my blog. Now I find a lot of this to be interesting, but I have to admit that trying to explain somethings such as this and the reason that they are encouraged or discouraged to be tough.

Let's look at this section:

What about tearing toilet paper when there is no option?
Obviously one must prepare toilet paper before Shabbos. The problem arises when one has depleted the supply of tissues, torn toilet paper etc. or one is in a place where there is no pre-torn paper.
For obvious reasons we will not discuss the various technical options that are on hand when there is no toilet paper available, but when those options are exhausted and/or one’s only practical option is uncut toilet paper, the following is the correct procedure:
One should tear the toilet paper by resting one’s elbows on the sheet of toilet paper and tear it with one’s elbows. This is called tearing kilachar yad – in a backhanded manner, and is only an issur d’rabanan. [6]

This is one of those things that I cannot explain without shrugging myshoulders repeatedly because it just doesn't make sense to me. Now perhaps I am missing something but this is a necessity that you cannot do without, unless you are in the woods and all you have are pinecones in which case you are in big trouble.

Ultimately what I find is that there are areas such as this in which I cannot provide a reasonable explanation as to why they are necessary. Some of these things are acceptable to me and some are not. Yes, I am picking and choosing but that is part of life and when it comes to matters of faith I think that we often reach places in which we are forced to use our gut instinct instead of our heads.

That is not a value judgement but an observation.
(Crossposted on Jack's Shack)

How I got to where I am

2005-12-27T08:52:00.000-08:00

It is sometimes tough to look at yourself honestly and realistically, especially with regard to religion. From my point of view, there is lots I know I should be doing, but dont do, and it is hard to think about that descrepancy, without either becoming very depressed, or radically changing one's life. In any event, here is the story behind how I came to find myself in the place that I am.

My father speaks mostly Hebrew to me. He always has. Although he was born in the US, he grew up speaking Hebrew, and his relationship to Judaism was very much the intellectual one, rather than extensive practice. We drove to the orthodox shul on Shabbat, built the only sukkah in the neighborhood(we didn't live in the Jewish area), kept kosher, learned gemara in 4th grade, and kept all the holidays. I didn't get my first pair of tzitzit(and didn't know we had to wear them) until 5th grade, had no idea what Asher yatzar was(the blessing said after using the bathroom), didn't know any halachic reason for washing hands on awakening, and was unaware of a lot of the little things that Jews are supposed to do. On the other hand, I was tutored by some very august rabbis, spoke fluent Hebrew, and , when I finally did start day school, was far ahead of my classmates simply because I could understand the plain meaning of chumash, whereas they had essentially zero hebrew skills.

I decided to wear my kippa all the time when I was in 5th grade(even though one of my teachers insisted I had to wear two if I was going to wear a kippah srugah(crocheted one). I got detention when I asked him to show me where this was codified. After 2 years of day school(the education was horrible, both Jewish and secular) I wound up in public school, then a few years of prep school, all the time being the identifiable jew because of my kippah. It never occured to me to go to Israel to learn, I was in a hurry to get on with life.

Through college and past I identified with the Modern Orthodox, keeping kosher, shabbat(strictly), attending various shiurim and lectures, but never seriously studying anything in particular or in depth, amassing a kind of superficial knowledge of what and how but not a whole lot of why. When I finally finished the education process, having picked up a wonderful wife in the process, and settling in a community, I needed to know more. I started learning gemara in earnest, reading as much as I could, using the mishna brura that I had gotten as a bar mitzva present(I think I had opened it up maybe twice).

I find that I am much more serious about mitzvot than I ever was, and wonder why I didn't put more emphasis on even the little things. I am trying to infuse my children with the desire to learn and to do. I know that I am becoming more "frum" in the recent years. However, "more frum" in this case means not showering on Shabbat, making sure to say brachot before and after all meals, making sure my few hours of scheduled learning are more important than the few hours of basketball, and not accepting the answer that its ok because "everyone in the community does it."

I look up the sources for what I do and don't do. I don't want to be machmir for machmir's sake(strict). I think there is a perfectly good halachic rationale for my wife not covering her hair. However, if I didn't think there was, it would bother me. Previously, I would have thought "whatever, hair covering isn't that important."

Thus I look at what I do(and don't do) and realize that by halacha there is a lot that I dont (and should ) do. Making the committment to change, and keeping with that committment takes a lot of work, and doesn't always work. It also sometimes conflicts with prevailing family practices. Looking around at prevailing modern orthodox practice, I am now a little towards the right side of the community. However, I am happy there, and can now adequately voice the reasons why I am there, and why it is the best place for me, and hopefully for my kids.

Mixed Feelings About Chanukkah

2005-12-27T06:37:00.000-08:00

What we have here is a holiday whose name we can not spell. Look, Yom Kippur isn’t that hard. Even Rosh Hashanah – manageable. Pesach. Easy. But…

Chanukah Chanukkah Chanukka Hanuka Hanukka Channukah Channukkah Hanukah Hanukkah Chanuka Chanukka Hanuka Hanukka Channukah Channukkah Hannukah Hannukkah Channuka Channukka Hannuka Hannukka Kannukah Kanukkah Kannuka Kanukka Ckannuka Ckanukka Ckannukah Ckanukkah

Could we just make up our minds? I know it’s a Hebrew word transliterated and transliterations are all over the map. But this is ridiculous.

OK, next problem. We all know that in comparison to the High Holidays and the Shalosh Regalim (Succos, Pesach, Shavuos), Chanukkah is a minor holiday. And yet, because of it’s proximity to Christmas, and maybe because we just like to light candles on the darkest days of the year, it has become a major big deal. Also, over the past few decades, more and more Jewish families, even Orthodox ones, have started giving Chanukkah gifts.

Now I’m reading that Chanukkah is actually, historically, not a victory over the Greeks, but a commemoration of a civil war, Jews fighting Jews. I guess I always knew this on some level -- that it wasn’t Greeks the Hasmoneans fought but Hellenized Jews -- but this article spells it out quite clearly.

Read in its historical context, however, the Hanukkah story is really about a revolt against the Hellenized Jews who had fallen madly in love with the sophisticated, globalizing superculture of their day. The Apocrypha's texts make it clear that the battle against Hellenization was in fact a kulturkampf among the Jews themselves....

That's the clash of Hanukkah. Armed Hasmonean priests and their comrades from the rural town of Modi'in attacked urban Jews, priests and laity alike, who supported Greek reform, like the gymnasium and new rules for governing commerce. The Hasmoneans imposed, at sword's edge, traditional observance. After years of protracted warfare, the priests established a Hasmonean state that never ceased fighting Jews who disagreed with its rule.

I like Chanukiahs. I like lights. I like latkas. Honestly, I don’t care for jelly doughnuts, but that’s OK. Personally, don’t care too much for civil war or theocratic rule. Generally do enjoy going to the gym. The truth is, had I lived back then, I could easily picture myself on either side. I’m pretty sure that there was much I would enjoy in Greek culture. Though, as a woman, not sure I was invited to the party, if you know what I mean. On the other hand, the Hasmoneans were a tad harsh.

It’s kind of sad that the general knowledge of Chanukkah is basically zilch. “Judah Maccabee riding on an elephant,” as the Grace Adler character says in Will & Grace. (Macabbee? Maccabee? Makabee?) In my youth, we celebrated the concept of the Jewish soldier and warrior (still a newish Jewish thought, in the 1960’s). Judah the Macabee was seen reflected in the faces of handsome young IDF soldiers. That’s a good instance of taking fuzzy history and turning it into a symbol. Inspiring, but hardly accurate.

I wonder if the closest thing we’ve experienced to the Hasmonean revolt was the attempt by religious settlers to remain in Gaza last summer. No elephants, however, were involved. And the sad spectacle of Jews fighting Jews was not something anyone wanted to celebrate. We did celebrate, and rightfully so, moments when settlers hugged soldiers, when the two groups prayed together. Maybe we’ve come a long way.

Meanwhile, it’s winter time, even here in Texas. OK, it’s sunny and 80 degrees, but they tell me it’s winter time. We open our drapes and light the Chanukiah, making sure the lights are clearly visible to anyone walking their dog along our block. So today, it’s mostly about that little demonstration.

Down the street is a 18-foot high Santa Claus. (I wish I was exaggerating!) Manger scenes dot the main road of our subdivision. There is no Santa Claus or manger scene in our yard. We have two chanukiahs in the window. It’s a gentle statement that says, “We are Jewish” and “There is light here in the darkness.” Maybe someone walking by will pause to wonder what that means. I know I do.

(crossposting at Mirty's Place)

Not My Judaism

2005-12-25T06:01:00.000-08:00

So last night (Christmas Eve), I went down to the university campus, to watch Ushpizin. We were in a tiny theater that seats fewer people than my Dad's old Buick and, needless to say, the audience was listening and the audience was Jewish. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house.

It's a beautiful movie, infused with spirit, and wonderfully acted. And I, personally, think it has absolutely nothing to do with Judaism.

Sorry, folks. Not my Judaism.

In my Judaism, if you are poor, unemployed, and living in squalor, when $1,000 drops "min hashamayim" into your lap, you go enroll in technical school and get yourself some skills so you can get a J-O-B.

That's right. It isn't about relying on G-O-D. Because G-O-D gave us brains that can calculate Pi, arms to lift things, legs to move around, and the heart to go out into the world and get things done. So move it! Get a job!

I'm sorry. I should be more accepting. They are Breslau. They live by faith. Someone has to.

Someone has to?

No. Our avot and amahot did not live by faith. Avraham and Yaakov built wells, herded sheep, built communities. They were active forces in the world. They were not secluded in a slum, impoverished, desperate. Is that what God wants? For us to do nothing, to cry like babies to Him for every little thing?

The world is a growing environment. We have everything we need right here. Everything to make our lives worthwhile. It's crazy to think our role is just to sit and say Tehilim, that that is what our Creator wants from us. No. I don't believe that for a second.

When my stepkids ask me questions, I often say: "Look it up. You can find the answer." When they ask me for things, I say: "Get it yourself." Am I a mean stepmother? Maybe so, but I don't see any point in raising lazy kids. Why would God want anything different from his own children? You need money? Figure out how to get it. (It's no big secret.) You want to have a baby with your wife? Quit smoking, your sperm count will go up.

All right. It's their life and they are free to live it as they choose. It is moving and makes a beautiful fable of faith and hope, but it's not real to me. And the deeper question is -- Is it real Judaism?

ADDENDUM: The question was raised in a comment at my blog whether it is necessary or appropriate to discuss the vision of Judaism in the movie. It's a good movie, so why not leave it at that? Well, I don't know. Probably seeing it here in Texas affects me as well. So few Jews here, and so few Jewish movies shown, that there is a sense that each one may be seen as standing for the whole. That probably is an unfair burden to place on any movie. On the other hand, this particular movie seems designed to engender discussion on matters of faith and belief. Or am I just reading that into it?

Some Posts That Are Worth Looking At Again

2005-12-21T10:37:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

One of the challenges with building a blog is that sometimes some of the early posts get lost in the shuffle. So I thought that it might be nice to provide a couple of links to a few that I think are pretty good, or maybe it is just my own ego speaking.

Without further ado may I suggest that you review the following:

Jerusalem

Davening for Dollars

The Long and Winding Road Parts 1, 2, 3 and 4

I hope that you enjoy them. Leave a comment and let us know.

How the Moshav Band changed My Life.

2005-12-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

One of the sad things about the frum world is that certain types of music are looked down upon.

Anything that doesn’t involve an Oy or a Vey or a combined Oy Yoi Yoy Vey is considered “goyish music” Let’s give this a try and you play along at home ok?

"Oy ... Yoy ...La La, Lah, Ai Yai Yoy … Vey Vai Dee Dum Dum …"

Jewish Music or Goyish Music?

If you answered Jewish Music YOU are CORRECT!

Ok, next round ....

“Return Again, Return Again, Return to the land of your soul. Return to who you are, return to what you are, return to where you are, born and reborn again.”

Are those English words? Is this Israeli?Are these boys religious? No Piano or Horn section? And that’s a guitar they are sturmming in the background? What doe they mean by "reborn?"

GOYISH MUSIC!!

Wanna play one more time? Yes you do! … Come on, you know it. Ready?

Alright, Jewish or Goyish …

"Rachaim .. Oy Yoy Vey … Rachaim … Kvetch, Cry, Kvelt … Rachaim .. Vey Oy Vay …"

JEWISH! … Ding Ding … Correct!

Next …One last round ...

"Hot, sun is going down, my wheels are off the ground, the clouds up in the sky are in my face, until I come back … whoh, L-rd, the things you can’t afford. But I will find that road, I will find my way back home again.”

What part of Tehilim is this from?? Which “L-rd” is he talking about, why didn’t he just say Hashem? Thing you can’t afford? What is is this what cant he afford? What road are talking about here? Is that a guitar again? And still no Piano or Horn section? GOYISH.

Seeing a trend?

Growing up in a very religious household, and later going through school and yeshiva, there was only one selected music called “jewish music” anything that strayed from the basic Oy and Yoy’s were termed Goyish. Even if it was soulful and had thoughtful English lyrics.

During the time I’ve referred to in past posts here as my “religious crisis of faith” I was very heavy into grunge and rock. There was something very calming about it. My family was going through a lot of personal stuff and me being away, couldn’t do anything to help. I often felt helpless and somehow this type of sound was very settling.

As things got better, I still hung on to the music that got me through it. Even today, when I pop in a CD I like to hear loud, noisy, rock music. Maybe it reminds me that things could be worse. They have been worse, and that life is what you make of it. I can’t begin to explain the effect music has on a person. We can all atest to that on our own.

During the same time I was hanging around Chabad house a lot I started dating this girl. She was also very into the same types of music I was into. One year on my birthday she bought me this CD as a present. I had no idea what it was, and had never heard of it before. The cover did not look impressive, and I had a hard time believing it was going to be any good. she said "trust me, you'll love it."

A couple days later while making a long drive I checked it out. Wow, I really loved this music. It was like... good Jewish music. Could that be? I knew that in Yeshiva this CD would never be allowed. Most Jewish CD’s have one English song, and the lyrics are so cheesy as not to offend anyone. All Hebrew words are left Hebrew, nothing is translated, and the usually contain words like, Yearn, Soul, Hashem, Western Wall and Moshiach.

Not only that, but the songs in this CD don’t all come directly from Tehilim, or some cutesy Gemara piece. They are soulful, real lyrics, with a point, a story, a message and they rock too.

Believe it or not, and I’m sure this was not the only reason, but when I was listening to this band, the spark of which I always talk about, seem to have been ignited. I was enjoying something Jewish. I felt like this band was my little secret. A good Jewish CD. Jewish folks, singing Jewish songs, and they rocked. Imagine that.

A month later I bought the rest of their CD’s and since then have purchased anything they produced.

If you know anyone that wants to hear something Jewish, but thinks all Jewish music stinks. If they prefer Nirvana to Shloime Dachs, offer them this CD. Who knows, it may really return them home.

Conservative Judaism- Which Way Does It Go

2005-12-07T22:46:00.000-08:00

Rabbi David Wolpe has an interesting idea about direction for Conservative Jewry. I am going to grab a couple of excerpts from a piece in The Jewish Journal for your review:

"Many of us have learned that Conservative Judaism is either a complex ideology (at least we never get a straightforward explanation) or simply a movement that stands in the center between Reform and Orthodoxy. An early classic of Conservative Judaism was titled, “Tradition and Change,” but tradition and change is a paradox, not a banner of belief.
Conservative Judaism is crying out for renewal and revitalization. Some of the most spiritually charged, socially sensitive prayer groups and institutions in the country choose to not affiliate themselves with the Conservative movement. Yet they are led by rabbis ordained by the Conservative movement and attended by congregants who grew up in that movement.

In synagogues that do define themselves as Conservative, the congregants often expect halachic observance from their rabbis, yet they are not moved to emulate them. Conservative Jews are increasingly confused and uncertain about their spiritual direction.

As I posed these problems and questions, some turned the question back to me.

“Who are you, and what do you believe?”

When I reflect upon the beliefs with which I was raised and how I have grown in my faith, I realize that the word “Conservative” does not best fit who I am and what I believe.

I am a Covenantal Jew."

Ok, what does that mean.

"Covenantal Judaism is the Judaism of relationship. Three covenants guide my way — our way: The covenant at Sinai brings us to our relationship to God, the covenant with Abraham to our relationship with other Jews and the covenant with Noah to our relationship with all humanity."

The article elaborates on all three covenants. It is too long to post in its entirety but I do think that it is important to highlight a couple of things so here are a few more excerpts.

First Covenant: Relationship to God

The Jewish relationship to God may be seen as a friendship, a partnership, though of obviously unequal partners. In the Midrash, God swears friendship to Abraham, is called the “friend of the world” (Hag. 16a) and even creates friendships between people (Pirke D’Rabbi Eliezer). Friendship is one aspect of the Divine-human connection.

The Torah speaks of God as a parent, a lover, a teacher and an intimate sharer of our hearts. When we speak of friendship or partnership, all of these relationships and more must be understood.

The terms of all friendships are fixed by history — we define our partnerships by our memories. One friend can speak a single word, “Colorado,” and the other knows that the word refers to a trip taken together 15 years before. However, vital friendships do not dwell solely in the past. They are always creating new memories, entering new phases and enriching what has gone before.

Some Jews believe that everything important in the friendship between God and Israel has already been said. The Torah, the Talmud, the classical commentators and codes have said all the vital, foundational words. Our task now is simply to fill in a few blanks, but otherwise the work is done. We are the accountants of a treasure already laid up in the past.

This is not a covenantal understanding. It is a Judaism frozen in time, as though all the clocks stopped in the 18th century.

Conversely, there are those who think the past weightless, because times have so radically changed. This is a friendship that tries to recreate itself each day, dictated by the demands of the moment. While the past is acknowledged, it is seen largely as something to be overcome, not to be cherished and integrated into the present. This creates a relationship with predictably thin and wan results.

Covenantal Judaism believes in the continuous partnership between God and Israel. When we light Shabbat candles, God “knows” what we mean — we have been doing it for thousands of years. It is part of the grammar of relationship. Our past is the platform from which we ascend. The covenant at Sinai is the first, reverberating word."

I can relate to this as I believe that it is important to have a living, breathing and flexible Judaism.

Second Covenant: Relationship Between Jews

"All Jews are involved in the Abrahamic covenant — not only those Jews whom we like or those of whom we approve but all Jews.

Jews have always fought within our own community, and undoubtedly, we always will. Devotion to Torah does not free us from the constraints of human nature.

Still, a Covenantal Jew seeks active dialogue with Orthodox, Reform and Reconstructionist, as well as secular Jews. The covenant does not depend upon movements or ideologies; it is a covenant of shared history and shared destiny."

Exactly. We are all responsible for each other.

Third Covenant: Relationship With the Non-Jewish World

"The first covenant was not made with the Jewish people. God sent a rainbow in the time of Noah as a sign to the world, to all of humanity. Noah lived 10 generations before the first Jew.

The meaning is clear: We have a responsibility toward others of whatever faith; we have a covenantal relationship to the non-Jewish world."

What do you think?

A New Letter To Toby Katz and our Community

2005-11-30T12:21:00.000-08:00

This past June I wrote an open letter to Toby Katz about her actions. I cited a number of quotes she made where she foolishly suggested that Orthodox Jews loved their children more than Reform and Conservatives do and made many other foolish remarks.

Well it seems that dear Toby has again opened her big trap and spouted off more nonsense. I laughed pretty hard when I read it because it is more proof of her foolish and uneducated bias against Jews who do not practice Judaism the way that she wants.

Here is an example:

Non-observant Jews who are nevertheless connected to an O shul and O rabbi for major life cycle events—girl baby-naming, bris, bar mitzva, wedding, funeral—are fundamentally attached to Judaism in a way that is simply not the case with a Jew who belongs to a “Conform” temple. Conform exists for only one reason—to make Jews psychologically and emotionally comfortable with their total disloyalty to the religion of their forefathers, to ease their conscience when they intermarry or do whatever they please."

So her argument is that nonobservant Jews who join an Orthodox shul are better than those that belong to a Conservative or a Reform shul. But why. She alleges that members of the Conservative/Reform shuls belong there so that they can "intermarry or do whatever they please."

That remark is false, but we'll set it aside for now. What I ask now is what is different between the two. Toby, you say nonobservant meaning that those people are not Shomer Mitzvot. It is clear that you have a problem with Jews who are not, but because they belong to an Orthodox shul you think that they have a stronger attachment to Judaism than those members of a Conservative or Reform.

That is just narishkeit and illogical.

The reason I refer to both Reform and Conservative as “Conform” movements is that both exist for the same reason—to help Jews conform comfortably to the prevailing secular ethos of America. Conform does very little to help people stay connected to Judaism, just the opposite.

One could make the argument that vast numbers of Orthodox Jews are unthinking automatons who have never dared to consider the possibility that their beliefs are wrong. They do not dare open their eyes to the possibilities that lie out there so they do as we see in Lakewood and ban the Internet or rail on about Slifkin and this and that.

Fortunately I am far more open and progressive than Toby and I have no problem saying that there are many who are not so provincial in nature in all of the branches of Judaism.

There is also another factor to consider, and that is the question of, to whom do we owe loyalty? It is true that we owe loyalty to all our fellow Jews and that we want—or should want—to maintain close ties between all Jews, and to make sure that all Jews feel welcome in our community.

Toby, your kiruv is outstanding. Make people feel welcome by badmouthing and demeaning them and then just so that you cannot be backed into a corner qualify it with a sad statement like this.

But we also owe loyalty to G-d. We do not have the right to falsify the Torah in order to make our fellow Jews feel comfortable. We hate to lose any Jews, we grieve over our fellow Jews who have elected to live in such a way that they will not have Jewish children—but we do have a mesorah, a chain of transmission, that has kept going father to son, mother to daughter, for three thousand years now, since Sinai. And we absolutely do not have the right to be the generation that breaks that chain.

Toby has it occurred to you that you offer no choices. It is your way or the highway. Do you really think that this is an effective way to make people feel welcome. You know life is full of black and white and shades of gray.

You do the Jewish people a disservice when you designate yourself as arbiter of morality and who is a Jew. You hurt all of us when you use such divisive language.

I stood with you and everyone else at Har Sinai and what I heard is different from what you heard. You are no better than anyone else and it would be better for all of us if you changed your attitude.

And since we all know that there is no one uniform approach to Orthodoxy we are never going to buy your arguments that it is better than Conservative or Reform because the fact is that there is disagreement and dissension there too.

You claim to that your arms are open, well so are ours. We are happy to welcome you to a community that doesn't try and maintain itself by turning on each other.

We are happy to make you part of the group. Really, our arms are open. You can continue to try and badmouth and belittle those who disagree with you. It is a tactic of insecurity and not built upon strength or you can accept that some people see things differently and work with us and not against.

It is really up to you. Either way we are not going anywhere.

Interfaith Relationships- Jews and Christians Misunderstood Again

2005-11-23T05:58:00.000-08:00

There is an ongoing problem with the relationship between Jews and Christians. There is a misunderstanding that exists that is creating numerous issues that are going to need to be dealt with.

I wouldn’t characterize this misunderstanding as being between all Jews and all Christians. I suspect that there are large numbers of both groups who haven’t given a thought to any of this, but I also know that there are many who have and that is part of why I am writing this post.

Boiled down the misunderstanding is along these lines. There are Christians who see Jews working to tear down Christianity, to attack it and try destroy it and there are Jews who see Christians working to destroy Judaism. That my friends is the very simplistic version of this story. There are multiple layers here, but we’ll leave those alone for now.

Part of the impetus for this post was generated by a post by a Christian blogger here. His post was in response to a statement made by Abe Foxman, the national director of the ADL who issued a warning about the attempt to Christianize America. Here is an excerpt:

"Today we face a better financed, more sophisticated, coordinated, unified, energized and organized coalition of groups in opposition to our policy positions on church-state separation than ever before. Their goal is to implement their Christian worldview. To Christianize America. To save us!" he said.

Foxman proceeded to describe the process and to name names: "Major players include Focus On Family. Alliance Defense Fund, the American Family Association, Family Research Council and more. They and other groups have established new organizations and church-based networks, and built infrastructure throughout the country designed to promote traditional Christian values."

I haven't any problem with what Foxman said because my perception is that there is much truth in this. In September I covered a CNN story in which we read about the Southern Baptists and their discussions on how to convert more Jews. In that same post we revisited several Southern Baptist decisions including:

"The Southern Baptist Convention passed a resolution in 1996 calling on its members to "direct our energies and resources toward the proclamation of the gospel to the Jewish people."
A 1999 prayer guide by the International Mission Board recommended conversion of Jews to Christianity during their High Holy Days, an effort labeled "offensive and disrespectful" by Jewish leaders.

As recently as 2003 Jewish leaders criticized a Southern Baptist seminary president for saying Christians have a mandate to evangelize Jews just as a surgeon has a responsibility to tell a patient about the presence of a "deadly tumor."

They are just one of the groups that have missionaries in place whose purpose is to witness to Jews for the purpose of conversion. They excuse this by claiming a religious obligation to do so. I am consistently surprised that they are so surprised by how vociferous a protest there is to these actions.

And I have to say that when I read some of the responses to things Foxman and other Jews have said I am most disappointed. Vox Popoli's post irritated me. In it he said about Foxman:

"This guy would have made quite the grand strategist, wouldn't he? With leaders such as these, it's no wonder that Jews always manage to find persecution all over the world. Launching all-out assaults on the overwhelming majority doesn't exactly strike me as the best way to win friends and influence people in any place or time."

If I hear him correctly he suggests that Foxman should be lambasted for having the audacity to question the majority, as if the larger number automatically provided moral superiority, not to mention his foolish remark about persecution. And that is a topic to be grabbed a little later on.

And then within the comments there are all sorts of gems:

Well, maybe if his ancestors hadn't killed Jesus 1975 years ago, he wouldn't have such a guilty conscience...

Mr. Astrosmith, smart boy that you are do you realize how many Jews were murdered or persecuted by your brethren using this allegation and you call us paranoid.

"Of course the reason Christians feel under assault is the largely Jewish and Jewish-led for the last 40 years ACLU/Southern Poverty Law Center have gleefully assembled their ranks of lawyers for a little Christian-bashing and getting Christ out of Christmas and the public and shopping mall spheres. Perhaps that is who Foxman should target. He might also wish a little word with his fellow Brooklyn Jew Michael Newdow who is after the Pledge and getting "in God we trust" removed from public buildings and US currency."

Aside from making unsubstantiated claims old Cedarford seems to be under the misguided impression that trying to see that the Constitution is followed is wrong.

And then within the comments on the Haaretz article there is this little nugget:

"Abraham Foxman is unbelievable! He seeks to destroy the reason America is the ONLY true ally Israel has. The Christian faith is the only reason Israel exists. Oh, by the way, Foxman, do you like not having to run from Kristallnacht, pogroms and Zyklon B? Thank the christians. We are the reason more of your people did not die in the gas chambers.

Foxman should not be fighting the only people that like Jews and go after the people who lust to slaughter Jews: Muslims, especially the Palestinians. Why isn`t he fighting the Palestinians? Doesn`t he know the Abbas and his buddies kill Israelis every day? Doesn't he know that Iran wants to kill every last Israeli?

Don`t bite the hand that feeds you." Jay Stang

Call me crazy, but I don't see any reason to thank someone or grovel for enjoying the same rights as anyone else in the US. And believe it or not, the US is not the only reason that Israel exists. It may have been at one point in time, but that is no longer the case.

Let's circle back to the initial opening in which we talked about misunderstandings. As a member of the minority it is hard for me to see the discrimination that Christians, primarily evangelicals are complaining about.

We live in a country that has a clear definition of the separation of church and state in which we go out of our way to promote pluralism and tolerance for all, not just the majority. That means that courtrooms and other public (read gov't funded) buildings are not decorated with the 10 commandments or other religious paraphenalia. A Buddhist, Hindu or Wiccan should be able to walk into a courthouse, for that matter anyone should be able to walk in and feel comfortable in the knowledge that the law of the land is going to judge them, not some biblical law that they may not believe in.

Students in school are entitled to be educated without being forced to be witnessed to or placed in other uncomfortable situations, based upon nondisriminatory laws.

Private businesses and homes are a different situation. I understand and accept that within these places there could be religious expressions of all kinds. When I go to the mall I expect to the salespeople to use some kind of holiday greeting. Frankly I get tired of everyone wishing me a merry xmas, but ok, I am not surprised by it and I am not even asking that it not happen.

All that I am asking for is an understanding that following the law is not discrimnatory but in our best interests. Our plurality and diversity is an exceptional strength that we can and should draw upon.

This is getting rather long so I'll try and tie it up. For better or for worse there is roughly 2000 years of persecution of Jews by Christians. It really is just within the last 50 years that things have really improved, but within that time frame many of us have still witnessed things that can be seen as an attack on Jews and Judaism and witnessing can be categorized as such.

It is hard to see the majority as having to face the same challenges and even if we accept that they do it is not of the same magnitude.

And that is about it for now. Perhaps I'll come back and try to cover this again at a later date.

Religion,Judaism

(crossposted at Jack's Shack)

The Shabbat Box

2005-11-21T11:08:00.000-08:00

My mission...and I chose to accept...was to teach a brand new preschool class for Religious School in our synagogue.

I have six and a half little kids...one comes over just for craft time and snack time from the second grade since he's the only kid in that room. My six kids though...I have had them nearly every Sunday since the beginning of October. Together we're travelling through holidays unknown as we explore the Jewish year.

This month we have focused on Shabbat. Out of the six, only one, I believe, even remotely has any idea what Shabbat even IS. The other five tend to look at me like I have grown a third eye when I talk to them about pretty much ANYTHING having to do with Judaism...which, of course, makes Miss Z.'s job that much harder. I have to not only teach them what something completely alien to them IS...I have to make them WANT to do it!

Now, I am not a teacher by trade. At best I am an engineer who lives a second life as a non-profits contracts manager. But I do have my own kid...whom I have brought along with me on my journey to Judaism. I know what memories I want HIM to have.

We start our days in preschool by coloring. This week we colored pictures of a family eating their Shabbat meal. Last time we colored pictures of a mother lighting Shabbat candles. While they color, I talk to them about what it is they're coloring...and of course, none of them have any idea really, only one family even lights candles much less has a Shabbat meal. But I talk and I explain and I try as hard as I can to get them to remember - to grab hold of something in this foreign language I am speaking to them and want to know more.

This week we made spice boxes and colored another picture about havdallah while I walked around and explained it to them. I told them that Shabbat is just such a wonderful time, that when it's over we're all so sad to see it end. And smelling the pretty spices makes us happy until we can have Shabbat all over again!

When the principal came down to see them and asked them what the spice boxes were for...they looked at her like a herd of small deer caught in her headlights.

I really felt like a failure.

Our final activity of the day was a book called "The Shabbat Box." It was all about a grade school class who shared a Shabbat Box - a box filled with candles and candlesticks, a kiddush cup, challah rolls and a challah cover - everything each family would need to celebrate Shabbat. The students took turns each week taking it home.

My kids became ANIMATED! "THIS!" they exclaimed. "THIS is a GREAT idea!" And they were all over the idea of making a Shabbat box that each one could take home and actually have all this wonderfulness that I have been telling them about every single week.

So next time...we'll be making our class Shabbat Box.

When the day was done and I was rounding them up to take them to meet their moms and dads upstairs, they were still talking about this Shabbat Box. Now don't forget, I have two kids each of 3's, 4's and 5's. The fact that they were ALL all over this idea...well, it was huge to me.

And just when I thought they never WOULD understand havdallah, one of my 5's ran to his dad and handed him his spice box. "Daddy!" he was breathless with excitement. "This is a spice box and you use it after Shabbat is over to make you feel happy again because you're so sad it's over!"

I couldn't help but smile and feel exhiliarated all at the same time. They're getting it...isn't that wonderful?

"Judaism won't be here in 100 years"

2005-11-19T23:08:00.000-08:00

GoldaLeah has an interesting post called "Judaism won't be here in 100 years."

Does Judaism need G-d?

2005-11-19T19:22:00.000-08:00

I pose this question to my Jewish readers on my blog and here. Does Judaism need G-d. Do you have to believe in G-d to be Jewish? What do you think?

Oh I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

2005-11-16T22:07:00.000-08:00

Being Jewish means you're part of a community...or at least striving to be part of a community if even from a distance, whether that means a pure physical distance or a symbolic distance.

Books, literature, music can all be made part of the Jewish experience. Jewish newspapers, as well.

Here in Canada, we have a nationwide "community" newspaper called THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS. The newspaper features a column called "The Jewish Highway," which deals with international websites that follow a theme. For example, around Chanukah, the columnist will do bits about web sites that feature Chanukah recipes, family stories, the how-to's and why's of Chanukah, etc. Or around Pesach the spotlight might be on different web sites that offer historial aspects of Pesach, or variations of the Haggadah.

Some months ago I decided to contact the columnist and make mention of THE JEWISH CONNECTION. He said he'd keep it in mind if he ever again deals with readers' choices of web sites. The man was true to his word, and this week in the column we got this write-up:

"The Jewish Connection is the joint effort of a dozen Jewish bloggers including, Pearl, who wrote to tell me about it. On the day I peeked in the offerings were quite varied. I read an article on whether to take Jewish kids out as “Erev Halloween” was approaching. Pearl wrote about her evolving feelings about being able to dance with the Torah on Simchat Torah. And a contributor named Z told of how Simon Wiesenthal’s determination to lead a life fighting on behalf of millions of Jewish souls had changed his own life. http://ajewishsoul.blogspot.com/

If you'd like to see the rest of the article, link here.

Perhaps each of you readers of THE JEWISH CONNECTION should contact your local Jewish paper and give them the heads-up about our Jewish online drop-in center. Reading about us somewhere might just be the first step for some people to make that "Jewish Connection."

Helping Yourself through Helping Others

2005-11-15T05:18:00.000-08:00

As I’ve written in the past here, when I was in my late teens, sparked by some personal things that happened, I had a crisis of faith. That is the proper term for it right? I grew up in a religious home an Orthodox, Baal Teshuvah Chabad home. For some sad reason my father never carried over his initial “it” feeling for how he came to be religious into his parenting lifestyle. There were no lengthy explanations for why we do certain things. No reminiscing about how when he wasn’t Frum he took this or that for granted. No love, or passion for things he lectured his children on every day. Reading what I’m writing now, it’s actually even sadder than I realized.

On the other hand my mother, also a Baal Teshuvah, did bring that passion for religion into the home, she didn’t have all the knowledge that my father had, so it would not have been as easy for her to do the “explaining” but I definitely developed my own passion for life and for being religious from her.

Part of what happens sometimes in a large orthodox family, where there are chores aplenty and school busses coming and going. Where there are always late classes, tons of Hebrew and English homework to do. There is little time for logic, explanations, general conversations of why we do the things we do. In the best of situations the parents and the teachers combine to give you just enough to sustain your need till your old enough to delve further into it. In the worst of situations you’re just along for the ride. What happens when you just go with the flow is that when you get older and your not being watched over as much. Where your old enough to start doing and thinking on our own, when the already know it all attitude has developed in your teen years, you start asking yourself the biggest question of all. Why am I doing this? Without proper conditioning as a child, some people just don't bother to answer that "why."

I have many friends that grew up frum and never had the crisis of faith I did. Now, I don’t know that for sure, maybe some of them weren’t brave enough to face it but they did remain frum. I think the reason is because they were in situations where there parents did go the extra mile to nurture their spiritual growth. You can’t just give a plant air or sun, it needs water too. In order for the plant to grow just right and survive, in needs all the elements.

It’s ironic, to think that a man who came from a place so far removed from religion, and who went on such a long and harsh road to return, didn't instill the passion that drove him there in the first place in his children. Because he didn’t do that, many of my siblings aren’t religious today. What can I tell you; with some people bad parenting is just bad parenting, religion aside. Thank g-d for my mother.

I think to understand what I went through myself, and to better understand my own journey, its good to read my smaller less intimate posts leading up to this. This post for example will demonstrate how my love for doing “smaller mitzvahs” eventually powered the engine that lead me back. I think I felt guilty about some of the bigger mitzvahs I wasn’t careful about or didn’t understand the reasons behind, or never felt that passion for them. Since I didn’t feel so into those bigger things, I went out of my way to do the “easier” little things. Helping someone out in a jam for me was a simple and logical “mitzvah.”

Jumping forward many years to college, I “hung” around the Chabad house on campus a lot. Since I was well versed in being frum, (just not understanding why I would want to be) there were always things I could help out with there. I ended up being like an assistant rabbi. It must have been odd, there I was a regular guy, not dressed in any formal rabbinic gear. No beard, no hat, just some jeans, a baseball cap and a sweatshirt. Talking about major issues, like the woman’s role in Judaism. Did Moses really exist? How do you know? Isn’t it easier to “rest” on Shabbos by going to a nice quiet restaurant Friday night and a movie afterwards? What does turning on a light switch have to do with it? But for whatever reasons we connected, and those were some amazing and inspiring conversations.

Of course I believed everything I was explaining to them, I just hadn’t always believed IN THEM. In one case, a student who I became friends with at the Chabad on Campus, came to me and asked me to teach him to read Hebrew. He was 21 years old, and never had any connection with religion. No Bar Mitzvah, no Hebrew School, No Jewish friends, he knew he was Jewish, but that was it. I agreed, we were both serious football junkies, so we had these Sunday football and Hebrew Classes. That was the first of many such classes with not just him, but other students as well (sans the football lol.) Months later when he was reading out of a Hebrew Siddur, I had this warm feeling in my gut. I felt like I had done something good. I was happy with myself. It was through those types of feelings that I eventually discovered that “it” feeling I always speak about. Through those “little” things.

I’ll write more another time. I’m kinda cutting this post off in the middle. There is more to this story, and I hope to find the time it deserves to write about it in the future. For now, thanks for reading.

Marriage and Mystery

2005-11-13T14:38:00.000-08:00

The Arnolfini Marriage, painting by Jan Van Eck, 1434

My 17-year-old stepdaughter is asking us questions about love and marriage. Why do people divorce? Why are some couples unable to live without each other? Why do some married people argue every day? As we talk about these matters, I remember when, at 15, I was filled with the same questions.

And I remember a moment that felt like magic, when it seemed the answer to all those questions was right in front of me, in a very ordinary home, in the most unromantic of cities…..

Mrs. Levinsky picked me up after school on Friday. She drove me and five other girls in her station wagon to Baltimore. There we were met by our host families who took us to their homes. I don’t remember which Shabbaton this was – NCSY? Bnei Akiva? In high school, I was heavily into group activities. I signed up for most every Shabbaton that came along.

The young couple that picked me up were from a different community than mine. He wore a black suit and, significantly, a black hat. She wore a longer dress than the women in our neighborhood and not a stray hair escaped from the kerchief on her head.

They were very, very young. No kids yet, recently married. And they glowed. There eyes were locked on each other. Without touching, they gravitated into each other’s sphere and moved in harmony. Love. It was the mystery I most wanted to understand. And here it was before me, for my observation all weekend. It was almost too much. I could hardly look.

I didn’t mind being excluded from this magic circle of husband and wife. In fact, I was treasuring the opportunity to observe, first-hand, the very miracle I sought for my own life. I’ll never forget that Friday evening meal. As her husband walked through the door, she became infused with light. I believe she radiated. At the dinner table, he chanted “Eshes Chayil.” Each word rang out, respect and love pouring into those ancient verses.

Back at home the next weekend, I asked my father why he never chanted that song to my mother. He said because there was no such thing as a "Woman of Valor" and continued on with some further misogynistic ramblings. Oh well.

I wonder if that couple (who must be in the 30’s now) had any idea of the strong impression they were making on their young guest. I carried that image in my mind long after I left their house, remembering a young man, a young woman, and a home filled with light and warmth. What would I see if I dropped in on them now? Perhaps a table rounded out with children of all ages. Perhaps the same respect and warmth in his eyes as he looks towards his wife. Or maybe not. Life wears us down, often. Did the daily chores of diapers and bills slowly erode that diamond-like brilliance? Did the necessary tragedies of life pull them closer together or become a wedge between them?

At fifteen, the beginning of love fascinated me. But at 45, I find the long road of love more interesting. What happens over time? What survives and what is lost? Despite my father’s refusal to acknowledge the Woman of Valor by his side, he and my mother are still together after more than 50 years. And, to his credit, he did have us present her with a “Best Balabusta Ever!” certificate after she hosted about 25 houseguests for my brother’s Bar Mitzvah. (I remember drawing the certificate, thinking “Balabusta? What the heck?”)

The couple I saw when they were just nineteen or twenty was wordless in their love, but I imagine that now, in middle age, they are comfortable and conversational together, reflecting on a shared journey through life.

(crossposted at Mirty's Place)

She Wants to Be Jewish

2005-11-10T18:13:00.000-08:00

I thought that this story was interesting.

It is Almost Erev Halloween- A Few Thoughts

2005-10-30T21:39:00.000-08:00

Some of my fellow MOTs are reluctant to let their children observe Halloween. There are a variety of reasons why this is so and I admit to having been reluctant to get into it, but that is a different story for a different day.

I once heard Rabbi Ed Feinstein give a sermon in which he outlined some compelling reasons for taking our children out and wanted to share some of it with you.

"I take my kids trick-or-treating on Halloween. The truth is that you don't find many rabbis out on Halloween. Many of my congregants are surprised, even upset, to find their rabbi and his kids in costume celebrating a holiday that has definite Christian and pagan origins. And my kids certainly don't need any more candy in their daily diet. But something remarkable happens on Halloween, something I want my kids to see: On Halloween, we open our homes to one another. On Halloween, we come out from behind solid-core doors and dead-bolts locks and electronic burglar alarms. The doorbell is met, not with a gruff "Whose there?" and a suspicious eye in the peep-hole, but with a smile and sweets. On Halloween, and only on Halloween, we pretend we are a neighborhood again...families from disparate background who share common civic values, making life together in a common space. If only once a year, I want my kids to see what it's like when fear subsides, and people trust one another enough to open their doors."

Sadly there is so much truth in that. There are fewer and fewer neighborhoods that have that open, friendly, Leave it To Beaver feel in which you can let your children play unattended in the front of the house.

All too often you only know the neighbors on either side of you and you just barely recognize the man/woman down the street. So I see a lot of value in being able to show the kids something out of my past because I walked to school and reached a point at which my friends and I were allowed to trick or treat by ourselves. That is not something that my children are going to share with me and I am saddened by it.

Here is another snippet of the speech.

"The most destructive disease in America, wrote the New Republic magazine some years ago, is not AIDS, but "AFRAIDS" -- the pervasive fear of violence that steals away our freedom, our sense of community, our trust. What happens to a city when everyone is afraid of everyone else? What happens to us -- to our souls -- to our children, when fear of violence is constant and pervasive? Bombarded by a daily litany of baby-snatching, berserk gunmen, child molesters, drive-by shootings, school shootings, police shootings, what happens to us? what happens to our children?"

This is something that I do wonder about. I have a hard time believing that things are so much worse now than they were. Part of me expects, or should I suspects that the vast amount of instant information (read news) has made some events seem to be far more prevalent then they used to be in the past because the sad reality is that pedophiles, rapists and murderers have always been here.

But while I will go to great lengths to give to my children I am not willing to take certain risks because every time I think of the final line of that speech it reasonates with me

"When they finally fell asleep, my wife and I dumped out all the candy on the kitchen table, to inspect each and every piece for needle marks and razor blades and the pernicious, poisonous tampering of some sick mind. God help us."

So we do what we can to keep them safe and to provide a normal life because what else can you do. I try to do what I can to be a good neighbor and look out for those around here not just because it is my neighborhood but because if you do it here there is a chance that it might spread. A viral infection of positive action.

Crossposted at Jack's Shack

Simchat Torah Memories

2005-10-26T21:22:00.000-07:00

Rejoice with the Torah! Such is the proclamation for the holiday that finished this evening...and so mark the end of our chagim until Chanukah.

I've seen Simchat Torah in many forms, in many shuls throughout my years.

My earliest memories are of the shteibel we attended till I was about eight years old. Young and old alike in the basement of a house dancing in glee and carrying that glee upstairs and out of doors onto public property...proclaiming to any and limited passing car and foot traffic that the Torah is ours and it's here to stay.

My next memories are of the family shul, also an Orthodox minyan, where I could still join the men downstairs because I was not yet bat mitzvah age. Or else I stood with my mother and the other ladies and young girls in the balcony, looking down below and watching as certain shul members overexaggerated everything, helped by a little -- or a lot of -- liquor in their systems.

There was one year that I was with friends and we were downtown (the Lower East Side area of Toronto, called Kensington Market) at a shul that just happened to be egalitarian. Now that concept was far beyond me and what I was used to. Yes, we danced outside on the shul property with the Torahs, but when someone offered to hand me the Torah to dance with, I declined. And back inside the shul, when someone offered me hagbah, and then an aliyah, I declined again. It was so foreign to me, so far removed from the environment I was accustomed to, so NOT ME.

One of my loveliest memories of the holiday is from about 10 years ago -- I was married and our oldest was about 6 months old. He was wearing a beautiful white and blue plush velour sleeper and was dancing in the arms of my husband, back in a shteibel setting of the shul my husband attended when we married and where we continued to daven until we moved northward. That memory of that baby being held is likened to a Torah in its mantel being held -- lovingly, adoringly and carefully -- and displayed for all to see.

Before a move a couple years ago we attended another small Orthodox shul and the last year we were there, one of the women pseudo-begged the rabbi for the men to pass the Torah over. Reluctantly he and the menfolk agreed and this woman held and danced with the Torah, crying like a baby. She said she'd been trying for over 20 years to get to hold a Torah. She truly rejoiced as she held the Torah like it were her baby and embraced it lovingly. Yes, I finally took the Torah where it was offered to me, but it wasn't as if it were a great achievement for me. I was indifferent, but not as against holding it as I'd been almost 20 years earlier. I just remember being v...e...r...y cautious when I held it.

The shul we attended for the past two Simchat Torah celebrations is very lively -- Bnai Akiva teens come from far and wide and add to the spirit with their singing and dancing. As well, in this shul, also Orthodox, the Torah gets passed over the mechitzah to the women. Women come from far because they know this shul gives women the right to hold and dance with the Torah.

It is clear that the glee shown on the faces of these women and teenage girls as they dance with the Torah is the same glee and wonderment that shone on my face when I was a little girl in that first shteibel my family attended. Then, I stood on the outside looking in on the men; these women stand on the inside and get to look out. There is a great joy in knowing that each of us is part of something bigger, of a community, of a people. And the Torah is our inheritance, our heritage.

May we all merit to share in the joy and dancing of Simchat Torah next year again.

In My Pocket

2005-10-25T14:25:00.000-07:00

On my way out the door today, this second cold day of fall, I grabbed my heavy leather jacket to wear. In its pockets were my gray gloves. It was nice to find them there. I didn’t remember where I had left them last February or March. Texas is the kind of place you can get through a winter season without gloves, though your fingers will be cold at times. It was reassuring to reach into my pockets and pull out my gloves. I put them on.

I’ve gone through one full cycle of the Jewish year. A year back in the fold. I’ve been reaching into my memory and pulling out many things, some I recognize with fondness, some with regret. Despite a lapse of two decades, the words to the prayers have never left me. I know them by heart. From Modeh Ani to Anim Zemirot, in synagogue or at home, the words are as familiar as if I had never stopped singing them. That’s frumkeit for you. Once trained, ingrained, you never forget.

Other things come back too. I remember now why it is hard to be a Jew. Not because of the many customs and laws, but because of the pain. It’s hard to read about young Israelis gunned down alongside a road outside Jerusalem, to see the photos of their beautiful, shining faces. It’s hard to face the hatred that inflates our enemies. The news from Israel is so often bad. Beyond bad; heartbreaking. James Joyce wrote: “history is a nightmare from which I am trying to awaken.” But we know there is no escape. Our history is indeed a nightmare, a revelation of the darkest pits of human evil. It’s hard to carry that weight. It’s hard to watch my husband clean his plate at every meal, and wonder if he does that because his father was starved in Auschwitz. That is a lot of pain to carry. It is hard to be a Jew. It’s hard to care and feel so much.

Sometimes it’s overwhelming. I’m not sure I want to be back in the fold. I have my own neuroses and odd characteristics, and at times my rough edges knock hard against Judaism. I’m a shy person in a social community; a loner in an energetically engaged, socially-directive religion. I try to be neutral in politics, but it’s impossible to do that and also be on the board, or even a member, of a synagogue.

But I don’t want to divorce myself from Judaism again. Not like before. I carry a siddur now in my purse (along with iPod and cell phone). It’s good to be in contact with God again. I’m moved by the Friday night services and enjoy learning and listening to Torah. I feel like my day is worthwhile if it includes a little bit of learning. Far from seeing Torah as arcane knowledge, I’m continually amazed at how unchanged human nature is and how relevant and true Torah remains. We are the same people that crossed the desert with Moshe, except now we have laptop computers.

Belief, then, is not hard for me. But involvement, engagement – that is tough. Sometimes, when I talk to God, I ask him if he doesn’t think I would have made a better Buddhist than Jew. I have a natural tendency to try to step back and be the observer, to see all sides and choose none. But being Jewish means choosing sides, and quite emphatically. And we don’t always agree. In my own congregation, we all support Israel, yet I was one of only a handful that opposed – or even questioned the wisdom of -- the disengagement from Gaza.

In the end, it may all come back to learning Torah and to prayer. Because these are the tools we have to help us know ourselves. I was brought up as a religious Jew, and I have a solid ethical and moral foundation for my life. I value that. Though I still make poor decisions and many mistakes, I have a compass that brings me back around to where I should be. That sense of direction also gives me the strength to hold firm when I need to, to disagree with others, and be true to myself.

It’s been a full, busy and rich year. It’s a good start and we will see how Judaism grows within me, and what is next. This story is not finished yet.

cross-posted at Mirty's Place

Why be Jewish

2005-10-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

On my own blog there is a post in which I ask if religion matters anymore. Here I ask the simple question, Why be Jewish?

What do you think?

Kehilah Kedosha

2005-10-18T11:50:00.000-07:00

On Yom Kippur, my rabbi accused us all of not being a Kehilah Kedosha...a Holy Community. She stood up on the bema at the Kol Nidre and told us all about Kehilah Kedosha and how we weren't even close.

Today, my husband went to Children's Hospital to see his cardiologist about that little incident that landed him in the hospital in September. Dr. Lee thinks he now has developed Coronary Artery Disease...something we'd always been told probably wouldn't happen but apparantly now, because of his diabetes, our worst fears are realized.

And to confirm this diagnosis, Anth needs a heart cath...next week!

I don't get very many days off...a total of 20 to be used to sick and personal and vacation. One year I used them up in the hospital with a kidney stone but usually I plan them out strategically over the year...to be sure I have plenty if an emergency crops up and I need to use them. For us an emergency could be Anth being in the hospital and me having to take off to get Evan back and forth to school...or it could be me getting sick and being unable to work for a while. Or it could be the very worst we can think of.

But we won't think about that now.

And so, while I have 12 left as of today and I don't plan to use more than 5 between now and the end of the year...there's always the "what ifs" that I have to factor in.

So when Anth told me he needed a cath, I knew I'd have to spend one of those precious days...which was okay, I mean, I HAVE them, I should USE them...especially for something like this.

Absolutely.

Well, Anth said "Don't worry about it, I don't want you to use those days if you don't need to. Let me see if Bob can go with me." (Bob is our adopted Ima's husband.)

So he called Ima.

And Ima told him that if Bob couldn't go, then not to worry, SHE would go.

When Anth told me this, I really, honest and truly started to cry. THIS was kindness, THIS was chesed, THIS was empathy and what people in a community do for others in the community.

Our rabbi was dead wrong.

Despite what she thinks and despite what she says, we ARE Kehilah Kedosha...we are a Holy Community. It's gestures such as this which reinforce that...these are people who genuinely care about one another, who are THERE for one another, who help when their help is needed.
Rabbi seemed to think that the definition of Kehilah Kedosha was a community that moved and acted as one...a bunch of Stepford Jews who were interested in the same things, who liked the same events and activities, who only saw sunshine and blue skies.

But this isn't Kehilah Kedosha, at least not the way I experience it.

Kehilah Kedosha is a community that genuinely cares about the people who form it. They don't ALL do the same things or attend the same events but they ARE just a phone call away. A new preschool in the shul? The ones who find this interesting call the teacher and offer to be aides. Sunday Clean Up? The men show up and climb up on the roof and throw off the debris that has accumulated. All of the men? No...some of the men. Others run the golf outing and still others run the big, annual fundraiser. Some we see once a year and some we see every week. It's a community. That's how communities work. We all have our lives and families and jobs and other interests that occupy us...but in our Kehilah Kedosha - we all find something to do. Maybe not all of it but somehow, somewhere we fit in.

And as a Kehilah Kedosha, we make room and we find a way for everyone to fit in. Regardless of what or how much they offer. Sure, there are those members of our community who prefer to armchair quarterback the whole thing...sit back and do nothing except offer their sage advice. Others don't even do that. But even THEY are part of this community...for better or for worse.
And THAT'S a Kehilah Kedosha. It's not the shiny, perfect, cookie cutter community our Rabbi waxed poetic about (and insulted more than half us with her comments) - we are humans and we have flaws. But we DO have a common purpose...and when the chips are down, I truly believe we rally to the cause, whatever it is. We may not be the BEST Kehilah Kedosha but we ARE a Kehila Kedosha. It's what we do. And I, for one, am glad to be a part of it.

(crossposted at Jewview and Matzah and Marinara)

Thoughts from Somewhere Else

2005-10-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

Hi, Chaim here, just putting up a post that Shloimy sent me. (Corrected)

Post Yom Kippur thoughts: Looking toward the future….

As I stood there praying on Yom Kippur, some thoughts started creeping into my mind as Neilah started.

Neilah: the last prayer we say on Yom Kippur marks the “ closing of the gates”. I realized with sadness that Yom Kippur was slipping away. Where had the day gone? This special day when we are so close to G-D that we are like the angels above and we can therefore proclaim out loud: “Baruch Shem K'vod Malchuso Lolam Voed” (Blessed be his name and his glorious kingdom forever and ever). When, until next year will I have this chance, I sadly thought?

These ideas certainly opened my heart and allowed me to pray with much more fervor and concentration. Before Neilah the Rabbi spoke to the congregation and pointed out that it was important not just to beg forgiveness but to change as a person from within.

Whatever promises we make to be better people, they should never be more than we can handle. “ A little bit goes a long way”, he said. Take upon yourself something such as benching from a bencher, or to be careful to wash when eating bread etc. I’m hoping that I can still hold on to some of the holiness that this Yom Tov brought me. To go back to “business as usual” is surely not what G-d is looking for. May we all merit to have our names sealed in the heavenly books for healthy and happy prosperous year.

Yom Kippur Thoughts and Musings

2005-10-14T08:27:00.000-07:00

I am still tired from yesterday, or maybe I am tired because I haven't slept much this week. Or perhaps it is a combination of lack of sleep and mental fatigue.

This year I made a real effort to get into davening. For some communicating with G-d is easy, but for me davening can be challenging. On a side note, I have written about this a number of times, but that is the only link that I can find. It irritates me, I have to try harder to categorize things.

What is most challenging about davening is trying to decipher/determine whether my prayers are heard. We live in an era of instant gratification, we want answers now. When my mother first instructed me on how to make a phone call she told me that I should let the telephone ring at least six times so that the person I was calling had time to pick up the phone.

Now if I wait more than three rings to get a person or voicemail I am irritated. It is kind of silly, but it is true. There are many other examples of this, but we'll save those for another time. For now it is enough to say that like so many others I want a definitive answer, even if that answer is "no."

This year was easier and I blame my children for it. Just before I began to read Torah I took a moment to look out on the crowd and I caught my son's eye. The smile on his face lit up the room and I couldn't help but smile back. His excitement just propelled me. To those of you who were there I apologize for the crack in my voice, no water wreaked havoc on a weak voice.

Later on my daughter decided to take a nap on my shoulder. I wrapped her in my tallis and as I davened the Shmoneh Esreh I could feel her breath on my cheek and could hear nothing but her steady breathing. Daddy and twenty-three pounds of baby girl bowed and convened with the heavens. It just made sense and for a brief moment I felt as I was crossing a bridge into a different place and time.

To some of you it may sound silly, but I felt as if I was walking into Jerusalem. I was bound for the Temple and was surrounded by others. My daughter helped me set the tone and then I tried to stay there. I draped my tallis over my head and listened. There was a low roar emanating from the people around me. I felt like we were all pulling for a common cause.

It was special and it was meaningful. It was what it should be.

The holidays are here and I feel settled.

(cross posted on Jack's Shack)

A Jewish Education Revisited and New Thoughts

2005-10-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

There is a universal consensus that a good education is of paramount importance. The real question is where can you find the best education for your child. This past June I asked the question Do You Value A Secular Education?

I asked about it because in my interaction with many people who have attended parochial school there seems to be a distressing lack of focus on basic writing skills. Time and time again I read posts by educated and intelligent adult bloggers who seem to be unfamiliar with spelling and grammar rules and that concerns me.

Earlier this week PsychoToddler blogged a bit about paying for a Jewish education. In principle I agree with him that it is a very important piece of maintaining Jewish continuity, but I have a couple of problems with it.

The primary issue is my concern with the secular education that the students receive. I don't have any problem with establishing communities where there is access to Jewish needs (Kosher butcher, restaurants, shuls etc) but I am not a believer in isolating ourselves either.

I don't have hard numbers or data to share with you that provides any conclusive evidence to support my suspicion that some of these schools take the secular world less seriously than the Judaic studies.

What I have is my own experience in reading the blogs of those who went to these schools and the stories that I have been told confirming my beliefs. So it may not be conclusive, but it is enough to warrant concern.

The second piece of this puzzle refers to the cost of sending a student to private school. The problem is that the tuition is far too steep for many families. Just trying to send one child to a private school can be very difficult but sending more than one can for some be downright impossible.

This is not a new issue. I remember hearing my parents and their friends discuss this very thing some 25 or 30 years ago. So what are we going to do about it.

I can tell you what I am working on right now. I am in the middle of preparing a marketing blitz in which we are going to approach people who have the means and ability to support scholarships and ask them for their help. We are going to do everything that we can to drive down the cost so that this option is available to as many children as possible.

And there you have the short version of my thoughts on this. What do you think?

Time to Read Torah

2005-10-09T22:59:00.000-07:00

I read Torah every Yom Kippur. Each year since 1982 I am the first guy up there. I walk up to the bimah, wait for the blessing and then it is off to the races. The first few years I was self-conscious about it.

I don't have a particularly good singing voice. I found that out the hard way. In 1982, (yes, the same year) I had the lead role in a musical. I still remember the laughter and I see some of the faces of those who laughed at me.

Many of those people were there when I started reading and I remember wondering if they would laugh again. I was 13 and much more aware of myself in that awkward junior high way. Part of me very much wanted to get out of reading, but at the same time I was honored and so I did it.

In time it got to be quite easy. I knew it by heart. I didn't have to look, all I had to do was start chanting. It is fair to say that I got a little cocky, but my cockiness was shortlived.

Three years ago I was tripped up. I started chanting and then looked down only to realize that the scroll was in the wrong place. Someone had grabbed the wrong Torah. I stopped in midstream. There was silence as I tried to quietly tell the gabbai to stop coaching me from his Chumash. I knew what the problem was.

And I also knew that suddenly I felt like that kid again. I couldn't remember how it was supposed to go. I couldn't get started and for a moment I wondered if somehow, someway G-d was testing me or punishing me for not taking it seriously enough, for not paying attention.

Since that moment I have made sure to do a few things. I always start out by confirming that we are in the right place, but even before I get up there I make time to consider what is happening, why I am there and what I want. I wrap my son up with me inside my tallis and I silently bless him.

I ask G-d to protect my family to forgive me for the things I have done and offer myself in this service. I am not yet the man I want to be, but I am working on it. I try to remain humble and honest. I may not tremble, but I am aware of my place in the world.

This year I will take both of my children inside my tallis and bless them. I will kiss them both and then I will silently walk up and prepare to chant. In moments it will be complete, but during the time that I am up there it will feel like hours. I will be present in the moment and aware of things going on around me. I'll see my parents and the faces of others. I'll hear my son tell everyone around him that I am his daddy and I'll smile.

It will be over in a moment but during it I'll feel like I have lived a lifetime. In the end I always ask for the same thing. Take care of my family, worry about them and I'll worry about me.

Yom Kippur approaches and I feel unsettled.

Paying for Jewish Education

2005-10-02T07:26:00.000-07:00

A topic that has been discussed multiple times on this blog is Jewish Education. If you've read my comments, you know that I think it is the single most important factor in Jewish Continuity. Many of you parents also know how incredibly expensive it is.

Jewish Action, the official magazine of the Orthodox Union (the ones who put the little "OU" Kosher symbols on your food) has an amazing series of articles on the subject here. (they are in PDF format, but worth the download)

The mehitza- A Deterrent to Assimilation

2005-09-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading an article in The Jerusalem Post that had me shaking my head. It is called The mehitza that made waves in New Orleans and it suggests that the presence of a mehitza is a strong deterrent to assimilation.

I strongly disagree with much of what was written in it. Let me share a couple sections. The opening of this opinion piece relates the story of a lawsuit in New Orleans that was brought when a shul removed the mehitza and implemented mixed seating.

"The New Orleans decision inspired many Orthodox Jews to go to court to stem the floodtide of assimilation, which often began with the elimination of the mehitza. Baruch Litvin, who galvanized American Jews to fight to maintain the mehitza, recorded his success in his 550-page tome Sanctity of the Synagogue. When his Orthodox shul instituted mixed seating, he obtained a 1959 ruling from the Michigan Supreme Court that returned the mehitza to the synagogue.

THE MEHITZA brouhaha had wider significance. Judaism is distinguished by its adherence to Jewish law, Halacha, and Litvin argued that such adherence is compromised by the radical change of mingling in synagogue. The issue of separation of the sexes for prayer was a test of the entire halachic system. Abandoning this principle, Jews would succumb to the centripetal forces of American modernity, jettison the rest of Halacha, and the dikes would burst.

The mehitza proponents have proved correct – the floodtide of assimilation by intermarriage for those Jews affiliated with mixed-seating congregations varies from 50 to 80 percent. Among the Orthodox it is barely 5 percent."

It is far too simplistic to sugges that separating men and women in the synagogue will prevent them from assimilation. For that matter one could just as easily argue that you are more likely to prevent assimilation by using mixed seating because it enhances the opportunity for nice Jewish boys and girls to meet each other.

The question of what causes more non-Orthodox Jews to assimilate ( I am trusting the authors figures here which have been provided without support) should have a broader framework and we should better define what we mean by assimilation. For the purpose of this discussion we'll say that assimilation refers to Jews who not only stop practicing Judaism but marry outside of the faith and allow the spouse's faith to become dominant within the household.

If we were truly to explore this I would want to know about belief in G-d and the belief in Torah. That is, do people believe in G-d and what is their opinion of Torah. Was it handed to us as the precise word of G-d or is it divinely inspired and perhaps subject to interpretation.

I would also wonder about how many Orthodox Jews would like to stop living as Orthodox Jews but refrain for fear of the problems it would create within their families.

These are just a few questions to be asked and I haven't even bothered to think hard about them which is part of why this gives me real pause as to the validity of this allegation. I have serious doubts that it really holds up. It really makes me shake my head because it is just narishkeit.

Here is another selection from the piece that irritates me.

"Prayer requires deep concentration, kavana. Women realize that men can be in a state of inner distraction by virtue of the presence of women at a time when it is essential for people to be as fully engaged as possible in their concentrated awareness of their conversation with God. The situation of men and women is not symmetrical; men are more easily stimulated by viewing women, as the advertising industry well knows."

I find this part to be offensive. Men are not animals and what this does is suggest is that we are unable to control ourselves. An attractive woman is not the reason why men sometimes have trouble davening.

A pretty face or nice legs are not going to interfere with saying the shemoneh esreh, or be the reason for a lack of focus. My davening has been interrupted by the whispered stories of what happened during last nights ballgame or conversation about what little Sammy is doing now.

And then the final part of this piece that made me shake my head is this:

"RABBI JOSEPH Soloveitchik, who established a Jewish day school with mixed classes and promoted teaching girls Talmud, surprised many with the stringency of his ruling on mehitza.

"A young man moved into a suburb of Boston where the only existing synagogue had men and women sitting together. He asked me what he should do on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. I answered him that it were better for him to pray at home and not cross the threshold of that synagogue. The young man practically implored me that I grant him permission to enter the edifice, at least that he might hear the shofar blasts. I hesitated not for a moment, but directed him to remain at home. It would be better not to hear the shofar than to enter a synagogue whose sanctity has been profaned."

This story is nothing more than a divisive device that pushes us away from each other. It does nothing to encourage inclusion, only exclusion and it will be seen by many as snobbery.

I was there at Har Sinai and I don't remember Hashem instructing us in this manner.

Shul Days

2005-09-28T12:55:00.000-07:00

I have nothing planned here. I'm completely making this up off the top of my head.

Brave? Stupid? Foolish? ... Let's find out.

When I was younger this time of year for was my least favorite. I have no patience and I have no Zits Fleish. If I would have been a kid nowadays I'd almost certainly be classified as ADD. So for me to sit in Shul for so long was torture. My father was a religious dictator. He never spent the time or energy to instill the love of Yiddishkeit, only the fear portion. I knew the time was holy, but at 10 years old I didn't feel strongly enough that it would keep me in shul that long.

Of course you could say most ten year olds would never be able to stay in shul from early in the morning (ok it was a Lubavitch shul so, around 9:30/10 in the morning) till 2, 3 in the afternoon. Even today it's hard for me to concentrate during davening. I get easily distracted. As an adult though I can push myself to focus, and I understand now how important this time is to really connect with Hashem.

I think the difference for me is taking it from a synagogue experience to a personal experience. As a kid I was told to respect the shul, respect that we are there to daven and respect that this is what we do, no questions asked. (and certainly none answered)

Today, I think of the shul as a place to talk to G-d. Thank him for giving me life, ask for support and strength. This time of year is now one of my favorites as an adult. To really visualize that Hashem is listening to us, and seeing him making his decisions for our life for the next year. I can always use all the help I can get to boost my spiritual connection when I'm davening. This time of the year in shul, it always gives me that boost. It inspires me to not only even more strongly thank him for all the good that happened in the year leading up to this one. But also, ask him for only good things for me and my family for the upcoming one.

Another thing I enjoy about this time of the year is that it reminds us, just as Pesach reminds us to do a physical cleaning. Tishrei reminds us to do a spiritual house cleaning. Make sure that we have a clean slate with our friends and family. Make amends for anything we have done, and any wrong or ill that we have caused to them.

At this time I would like to extend that practice to this board. I can be pretty cynical and sometimes negative. If I have offended anyone, or upset anyone that I have come in contact with over the last 7 months in this blogspehere I hope you will accept my apology and forgive me.

May Hashem answer all our tefilahs and send us all only good. May Hashem watch over us, our friends, our family and bring forth the day when we can all come together to the Beis Hamikdosh Hashlishi in Eretz Yisroel.